Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi Friends,
Please advice me on this. I've been married for 7yrs.now and have a 2yr. old baby boy. My problem is my husband was very loving in the beginning but now he is a pain in the neck. The reason is my momin law and his brother visited us last yr. During their stay they kept teaching him things like your wife is very demanding of your time, you've spoilt her and all. After they left my husband turned into a totally different person. This side of his personality was new and surprising to me. Now, he is very abusive to me. Even if we have a small fight he picks up the phone and calls my Dad in India and says very hurting things abt me.He doesn't want me to have any relationship with his family either. Since, he is afraid that I'm going to tell them about his shortcomings and ill behaviour towards me. I even know that my in laws will not support or even say anything to their son for treating me that way in a thousand years. And since we had a couple of fights infront of the inlaws where he proved himself the right person he keeps saying to his family that you know this girl how bad she is. He asks me to go to India and get a divorce. I've never seen anybody treating another person so badly and that too all of a sudden.

Please give me some suggestions as all I see till far is just darkness.

Your friend in need,
Malvika Archie replied. Dear Malvika,

This is one of the hard aspect to deal with when you a couple do not agree on the same thing.

Let me tell you here I might not be in a position to advice totally but can put some thoughts and you may talk/express to your husband.

Both parents should feel same for children, not that one feels comfortable while other not, watching childrens being racised. Descrimination done by your in-laws is absolutely in appropriate and you should bring this to your husband. Ask him if he likes your children being treated less profiled over his sisters.

Malvika, I don't think he will change his vacation plans. But sure you need to be persistant while wanting good time for your children. Explain him how agonizing it is to see your childrens descriminated. Ask him that he will allow you to go to your parents while you feel children not treated to their best of interest. He can stay with you preferably so that your childrens have parent while on vaccation or he make decent choice.

I think he will understand. But if you have issues with SIL and/or MIL then it would have to be discussed straightway and I hope he will be supportive.

Good luck
Archie