Relationships  Discussion Forum

I will start with saying i am very emotional person otherways this may be misleading.I live with my hubby and 5 yrs old daughter. dont have very great relationship with my hubby , and dont have anyone in the world , u can consider i am an orphan. ray of hope is my daughter and always tried to manage hubby thinking life will be better with my bundle of happiness..Basically I work and my hubby is at home, since i was earning better he asked me to continue.. off late my daughter hurts me , few weeks back I was in UK and I used to call my daughter sometimes she used to speak and sometimes used to never speak at all.. she used to say call me later and says not interested. I was away for 2 months and she did not even bother to speak , i assume she doesnt love me..even to write this i have tears in my eyes and i am completely shattered. Basically i belong to poor family using public transportation all my life , and always wanted to give luxurious life to my kid..by gods grace I work for top IT mnc and doing good career wise..even though i am filling my house emi , inspite of that i made my child join the best and expensive school in bangalore.. changed from economy car to luxury car thinking she i shd lead her a good life..sometimes my hubby drops me to office , yday she was saying we will drop her in the middle no need to office , she will walk or she will go however i want..it hhurted me lots and lots , i am paying car , home emi' s..trying to balance all and i am not getting even a cent love from either my hubby or daughter who is my ray of hope..and to add more to this topic i am emotional and short tempered , often i scold and hit her..thinking the fact she doesnt love me , it makes me more aggressive i end up scolding her in filthy langauage(i know i shd not) and slapping on her face...i know pure love shd be immaterial of anything , i shd love ,respect her and do my responsiblities as mother which is loving and taking good care of her..somehow i feel i am not fulfilling..sometimes i feel i shd die in this situation , even i walk out of house i cant live without my daughter..friends help me i am helpless orphan female, feel dont have anybody in the world.. prada replied. Hey rs,
I completely understand your situation.It really hurts when the apple of our eye ignores us.But children basically lack reasoning.They never try to give it a thought how hard we are working to give them a better future than our' s.Because they don' t usually care about all these things.They are more attached to people who stay with them for longer hours.Sometimes they love their grandparents more than us who are miles away from them.
Even my kid tries to ignore me and he longs to go to my in-laws house and is so fond of everyone in their family though they are not very good caretakers.I buy expensive gifts but my kid always talks about my ILS .But the next time when I won' t buy ,I' ll be my child' s greatest enemy on earth.
You need not take it for granted that your child will continue to be so even as she grows.5 years of age is too early to understand emotions,hardships or sentiments.The only thing they know in this age is to play and take sides of whoever impresses them.
But this is the actual time you need to concentrate on your child' s behaviour and you need to mould her thoughts.Kids don' t really know what' s good or what' s bad ,what to do what not to do unless we teach them the right way in the right age.
So first of all calm yourself.Do not get aggressive when your kid annoys you,its only basic child psychology to throw tantrums when they need attention from us.The more aggressive you turn ,the more your kid stays away from you.Keep this in mind whenevr you get angry on her.
Try to get closer to her.You really need not do anything materialistic like buying things...but simply try to build connection with her.Talk to her as often and share your things with her.May be she' s feeling neglected and ignored and so she does all this to draw your attention towards her.
Also try to know from her ,gradually what or who is influencing her mind predominantly and if its showing negative or positive effects on her.This is very important to mould your child better.Talk to your husband about what and how he should talk to a girl child .You yourself talk to her to respect parents and understand what it takes to live a comparitively luxurious life.
But most importantly,don' t be too much pre-occupied with the thoughts of your child.It makes you sick.You have your own life to live and don' t let such thoughts dominate your thinking.But rather think wisely and cautiously on how to bring up your child into a better individual.