Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi
it is really very stressful to handle such ppl day in and day out...we all have our own lives...so,handling such things makes us emotionally crazy...
what i would suggest you is if you feel their mind games are something you can give them back then do it....if u cannot give them back then ignore it....i know its easy to say ignore...but try practising... i did the same...
one good thing for u is ur husband loves u...and second is u r away from ppl...so take these things as positive and go ahead
i think u can definitely avoid ur SIL... handling MIL is little tricky....but for SIL why do u care?? let he go on with her life.. u talk to ur brother wen u want...dont move away from him...and dont punish him for ur SIL
next time they ask u recipt etc or some such thing...just refuse....if they talk behind u let them talk..in a few months they will realise dat its no use...
dont waste ur energy on such ppl
all the best...

all the best. we r always there to help u on this board.
also,i agree to ytk. we should not allow ourselves to be sensitive and become a victim.be strong. once these ppl know u dont like it they may irritate u more.
and do not think that these women will just get away. wat goes around comes around. so im sure they wil experience this back some day in some or the other form.so,u carry on with ur life. be cheerful
concentrate on hubby/kids and urself.
good luck!

Hi Neha,

I know that i shuld just ignore such people and carry on with my life. I try to do that but being an emotional kind of person i get effected at times. I will try and keep my mind off such people that´ s the best i can do i guess.

My only irritation i guess stems from the fact that these women get away with most of their doings. I wish there was some way they could be punished for their wrong doings. Anyway i trust god to take care of that part.

Thanks once again. It helps to know there are people like you out there to help us go thrugh ur bad day and that can be a great relief.

Hi there,

You would never be able to get out if you allow yourself to be the victim, you have to stand for what you think is right! People play mind games and that' s the sad part of being an evolved race and high level of social skills, (unlike animals who just like you or dont like you). Things become difficult when you feel suppressed, mostly due to society pressure of being a nice person. But you have to stand up talk and yes be receptive to what the other person has to say as well, BUT MAKE YOUR POINT CLEAR.

Hope it helps

Hi YTK,

Thanks for your reply. I know i need to be strong and make sure they know that they can´ t get their ways with me but you need to understand that these people our family and hence able to get away most of the time. Just tell how do i practically get out of these situations. I´ ll give you very simple example.
Few months back it was brothers daughters birthday, i had gifted her 18carat gold earing costing around 1000 bucks.Now almost after 3 months i get a call very innocently asking me to send the receipt of those earings because they loved the pattern so much that they want to get the same pair made heavy. To anyone else it might look like a simple situation and its my mind thats wicked which is making a mountain out of a mole hill. But tell me when we receive a gift do we try and find out the cost of the gift from the sender or try and find if its real gold that i have gifted or fake. Its a gift and there is no need to judge it. I am not sure if you are able to understand what i am trying to say. Its the manipulative bhabhi who wants to know the facts and then she and her mother will humiliate my brother that her sister gives fake gifts to their daughter and then in turn my brother will call me up to make me feel horrible about the whole thing.Though no where did i say i am giving gold earings while gifting(though now i regret ever sending the gift)

The saddest part is that my mother is very old and my fathers no more. This lady has already chucked my mother out of the house within 6 months of marraige
when she was pregnant with her first child by making her sign the house to her and my brother on the crap that if my mother doesn´ t do this she will do something to herself and the unbornchild and all the blame will be put on my mother and me. Since my mother is nearly 77 and a patient of high blood pressure she had no choice but give in because she could not take her daily threats.

What do you have to say to this. Above all this after 8yrs of cutting of with us (with occassionaly manipulating us through my brother and her kids)she now wants us start acknowledging her and that to as per her wish and command.Sadly my brother is a very weak person and he tends to emotinally blackmail my old mother to give in for peace in his life.I know he is being selfish but the problem is till the time he was unmarried he was the best son/brother that anyone could have asked for, so emotinally its very tough for anyone of us to say no to him.Though we have still not given into his demad of dancing to his wife´ s tune he keeps trying neverthless.

I would really like to see that women punished for causing so much anguish in our lives but the people around us only make us feel helpless saying that she is bad y do you want to become like her. Just given in for you son/brothers sake and let her feel like she has won and live a peaceful life.Its like they are trying to say keep your friends close and enemies closer to be happy.All this is so confusinggggggggggggg....