Relationships  Discussion Forum

hie.. I hv tried too many sources, like my brainstorming wid my ownself, my mother in law,sum horoscopes.. but i cant find a solution, plz help ladies. my hubby n me r married since lasst 6 yrs, hv a daughter of 5 yrs. we were living in a nuclear family. n now hubby is tranferred 2 a city where my inlaws live. my hubby n me hv NOT really shared n amazing relationship. although we had a luv marriage- intercast- rajput(he) with gujju (me), hez n aggressive persob with 2 many expectations and a blunt language. he talks rashly n is whimsical. has to many mood swings and is v pessimistic. although i know he luvs me n so do i... but hez got a wilddd temper. dat 2 starts 4 smallest of things. if v sit 2gether n talk for 15 mins, we burst out wid sumthing truly aggressive wid no results 2 any conversation... hez bn physically violent 2 me many times, n i literally shiver when i make a smallest mistake thinking abt consequences or his reaction.... hez highly educated n working in a big company..too weird- greedy, high. but his attitude is sumthin dat i cant understand. he uses abusive language whn hez angry dat 2 in front of my kid. i was working 2 wid n MNC earlier. nowafter shiftin, w emutually decided 2 start a business, but due 2 differences, we r not talking since 10 daysnow... since now v r in a joint family, he gets all basic things like cooked food, etc. he doesnt look at me and asks me stay away. he is too harsh when he utters a sentence... i thot being wid family, i can make him realize dat he is wrong when he uses abusive language for smallest of things, but that has created things wilder. on top of all, my MIL is leaving nospace 2 less fill his ears with bad things abt me... how careless im .... coz hez a perfectionist...
i m too stressed n dunno wat 2 do... shud i continue keeping quiet? if not, then hez gonna screw m up.. i dunno wat 2 do....plz ladies guide.... prada replied. Dear Neha,
I sympathize with you for your not so happy married life.But the truth is,You are making it a habit to your husband to get physically violent ,everytime you are keeping quiet.The world itself is like that .The more you try to be silent about anything which is basically unacceptable,you are giving it an other chance to take over on you.
Please don' t let your husband take it for granted.When he' s getting aggressive and abusive in front of others at home,what' s the use staying with such deaf sheep and dumb fools,when they can' t even stop him from doing that.I' m worried how this particular behaviour of his,is influencing your kid.
Tell him how much he hurts you with his words and behaviour.Tell him you want to lead a happy life with a happy family.
If he realises his mistakes get him through counselling from somebody close.Make him realise his responsibility as a good husband and a good father.Always give him immense love ,being a pessimist ,he needs it the most.

Perhaps on the other side ,quitting your job is not a very good idea.And even the business thing does' nt work with a person like him with so many mood swings.First get yourself a good job and try pulling yourself away from him when your attempts fail.
If you think you can manage try to get posted in different city or place ,so that you and your kid can stay away from him and his unconcerned family.Take care. sept replied. reading ur post, it seems ur hubby needs a servant and a punching bag more than a wife.. dunno y an educated gal like urself is sitting by quietly while he does whtever he wants.. wht he is doing to u is emotionally and physically damaging to u.. u will soon b left with no self esteem if this continues.. u need to make sure u draw the line on how much u will take.. arguments are common, but not physical abuse!!!