Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi I am a 16 year old mumbai girl studying in first year junior college.I lost my mother when I was 9 years old & since then have been with my father for the last 7 years.He has been like less than a father & more like a friend to me.We both have been very close to each other since there was nobody else for us these many years.He has always taken care that I never feel the absence of a mother in my life.All my problems are taken care by him except for my periods for which I visited a female doctor who was also a family friend of ours.However recently i have been handling them on my own.We both are very friendly to each other & I often tease him on his poky moustache & french beard as pocupine.He has never stopped me for anything has at the same time kept a check at everything.For instance I have had this liking of wearing short T shirts to which he agreed provided it was only a litle bit short ie 3-5 cms.But there are a few queries about our relationship that I need to get clarified about.
Just in middle of a conversion with my friends recently they asked me if I was ever lip to lip kissed before & I replied back saying thousands of times before.They were taken back a bit & asked me with whom it was & when I replied that it was with my father while saying a bye or a good night since maybe the time I was born,instead of feeling releived they looked even more amazed.I told them later on that it was nothing but a 1 or max 2 sec kiss but still nothing seemed to satisfy them.They kept scolding me & asked if I had ever slept with my father.I felt this very insulting & got out of there.
The same day 1 of them called my up & apologised to me but also said that it was very wrong.The next day in college the question session continued & I asked if I had any passionate felling when I kissed & I said a no calmly but then again I was pulled back to the same track with questions like did he apply a lot of pressure while kissing or did his moustach go in my mouth to which I got wild & warned them not to ask any more questions in this topic.
Everything was fine for a few days before saree day came when my friends complemented me on looking good in a saree.When asked who made me wear the saree I told them it was my dad they were all shocked again.However I felt nothing wrong in it as that was the way it happened even once before ie during my 10th std farewell party but then to them it was like the greatest sin in the whole world.I never made an attempt to stop what was going as I simply never felt anything wrong.I also dont want him to stop kissing me.
I really want to know if there is anything actually wrong in these things as I know my dad very well & am very sure of him having no such kind of dirty feelings in mind for me.But since my friends have been insisting so much I want to know if there is anything immoral in it.
Please do let me know. Nithiya replied. I cant understand what is there wrong in a father kissing his daughter & I also feel it very odd to pass on the ugly comments of my friends to him as it could embarras him.Please make it more clear of what U think is actually wrong.
Thanks for the reply. J replied. Hi,
I think the relationship u have with ur dad is very special. Sometimes dads forget that their little girls have grown into young women. Its very difficult especially in ur father's case as he had been doing everything for u. I think u should tell ur dad about all the things ur friends are saying. That might change his behavior to u. U should also realise that u r growing up and not expect things to be the same as it was when u were a kid. Try to change ur habits - a peck on the cheek or forehead instead of the lips still shows lot of affection. Hope u will always enjoy this close father-daughter relationship and its not what ur friends think.

J S replied. I can understand your friends' reaction.Sexual abuse by a family member(sometimes even the father) is not uncomman.Young girls sometimes fall prey to it when they are not even aware of it.Only you can judge your father's behavior and the category it falls into.If you are convinced that it is mere fatherly affection on his part you can tell these well-wishers that you are old enough to take care of yourself and that they should just shut-up.