Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

15-year-old Aditi's mother sat confused across the school principal's table. What led her to attract the attention of the boys so desperately? Priya, her sister did no such thing even though she was prettier.

She was advised to meet a counselor.
Aditi recalled that when she was 6 and her sister 8, both of them got gifts of similar frocks. Aditi in her excitement wrote a small thank you poem for her parents. The 2 sisters came out wearing their new frocks. Even before Aditi could give the poem to her mother, she heard her mother exclaim, -Oh Priya, you look like a princess, you'll get the most handsome prince. Their father as if in agreement kissed Priya. Aditi waited for her turn to be complimented but it never came. She threw the poem in the bin and never wrote it again!

She started doing every possible thing to pull her sister down-she made up complaints about her to the teachers, tried to spoil her friendships. And when she entered her teens, her behavior with the opposite sex was becoming an area of concern for all.

WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?

1: Comparison makes a child feel inferior.
2: Comparison can kill talent
3: Comparison leads to an indifferent attitude
4: Comparison leads to unhealthy rivalry between siblings. What could have been a special friendship between sisters of the same age group was turning into unhealthy rivalry.
5: Parents should be fair in giving credit

Does your child feel inferior when you praise his/her elder sister or brother? What do you do in such a situation?
Share with us!
Lynda replied. We as parents should never compare our children with their siblings or any other child .
Each and every child has their own way of thinking.
Each and every child has their own problems.
We as parents should guide, nuture, and love our children.
We need to think how would we feel as parents if we were in the child' s shoes.
Don' t be to hard on these children.
Encourage,encourage,and encourage.
So, therefore ...as parents we need to lighten their loads every now and then ask the child to talk, talk, and talk about their dreams, want they want out of life and what they truly want out of life.
Sometimes we may not like what they have to say, but we as parents have to remember WE were like them when we were younger. Our parents really did not know how to handle us when we had problems.
We have to show them what is wrong and what is right, but we have to remember they willeventually have to make their own decisions later on, but now we have to show and guide them on the correct path of life.
Remember the children of ours could be tomorrow' s leaders!!! Rhea replied. According to me, the parent should not praise one child in front of the other. And even if he does, then one should also say some words of praise for the other one!