Relationships  Discussion Forum

HI
I don’t know what to do. Please help me out.
My boyfriend is getting married. We then had a very long secret relationship

His dad picked out the girl They have given their word to the family for an arranged marriage.. he found out after… then I found out the 2 days after..
Unfortunately, my boyfriend is a very passive kind of guy and has never stood up to them on any level, appears scared of them and what they might do

I am so frustrated, because it does not seem fair…. He does not even have the courage to stop it or get out of it!

I feel like going to india and stop the wedding my self.. ..because he is not stepping up to the plate … which is not realistically..

My heart, however, is madly in love with him.

He just does not know how to get the courage or know what to say to them to stop it all! I feel very frustrated, depressed and pretty much helpless.

The ball is in his court, but I am scared of the outcome

if he marries her my heart will be broke and I know I will never go on in my life. I am not strong enough..

can he get out of the arranged marriage? If he gets out of it, what happens to the girl? Then what happens to him?

any advice for him to deal with his parents?

He either claims to have no knowledge in any of this, or would rather just not share

I PRAY ALL DAY LONG.. I dunt deserve tis.. I want to be with him..
Can someone plez help me..
When I called him.. I just start to cry.. I m planning on calling him soon.. tis time I am going to write down wut I want to say.. wut should I say??? How should I convince him?



ALSO we met on a religious event(sikh)where we pray etc..
i always felt and still feel we were meant to be together.. Snigdha replied. Hi Person,
If you want to stop marriage then you have to face all kinds of issues also.Are you ready to face all those. Balaa replied. Hi Person,
So for person it would be very hard when they know that their love got cheated but you must think that your were blessed by god that you have come to know at least now. Murali replied. Hi Person,
As a girl i can understand your situation but you have to know whether he is really wants you in his life or not.So you can do that after thinking. Mala replied. Hi Joti,
Actually the message you have posted can be consider in two reasons.Firstly your friend might agree for marriage on force of his parents and secondly he may try to cheat you.Confirm the reason and then decide. Sweety replied. Hi joti,
Does he really loves you.If he loves you why does he agrees marriage with other person.So think about that why do you think about that guy who tried you to cheat. Subha replied. Hi lady,
I understand your concern but you just think and find out the reason on what basis he is doing the marriage whether any one forced him or he had taken own decision only then you take decision whether to stop or not. Pandey replied. Hi Lady,
I can understand your problem but you just think about that with very cool mind because if he really want to share his life with you then why would he prefer some other girl in his life you will get solution also. Elia replied. Hi lady,
I can understand your problem but you just think very cool about it if he seriously likes you why would he prefer another girl for her life partner you just think what ever happens is for our good sake only. Disha replied. Hi Person,
Why would you think about that because when male has decided to do marriage and you just need to think about that and you need to decide because you have to know about the life of yours also and it would be better. Swetha replied. Hello Lady,
Why do you want to stop the marriag e if he really needs you in his life then he will marry you and never leave you at least now you recognize and try to move further in your life that is better to you only. Lohita replied. Hello Joti,
So you want to stop the marriage of your friend but your friend is ready to accept you just think of it and then you take the decision which you can because it will affect the life of yours only and then you have to suffer a lot. Sarah replied. Vikram and I have been together for 6 years. My parents love him. His parents do not know I exist. We have been best friends and he has treated me like royalty. Not one day has gone by that we have not talked on the phone. We even lived together for over a year. He did not expect me to be a whore before marriage like most Indian men would an American girl. Marriage is the reason I am now suicidal. He is going to India to be arranged to marry a stranger. He said he would never do that. He wants to stay my friend but I cannot. I wanted to have his children and love him forever. Now he is going to bring her back to our town house to sleep in the tempurpedic mattress I bought and I am to stay away silent. It is like the man I knew for almost a decade is dead and I did not see it coming. I think Indian men come to America and they sometimes think they want an American girl. They can even find one who is financially secure that truly loves them and would never be the gold digger that their parents fear. Ones that agree with their culture, cook their food....but it does not matter. In the end it is more important to not hurt their family. Now I will never love again. Especially not a horrid American man....I feel like becoming a nun or disappearing into a life of charity. I have no reason to live. My heart is truly broken and I wish I did not exist. I cannot deal with this pain and there is nothing I can do. neets replied. i am in the same situation.what did u do.did u stop the marriage.did he love u after stopping the marriage.kindly reply me.
i also want to talk break the marriage.but he is telling he ll be ruined and will never come back to me. Anonomyous replied. Read the book: He' s just not that into you.
If you don' t believe in that book then probably he ' s very confused and is not able to understand the things how they are going.
God bless you moorthy replied. Dear Joti,
i have seen your message,
its very bad that guy Wat he did. but there is some option is there to stop the marriage.
1. don' t waste your life for others.
2. if u feel that he is good for your life partner then don' t allow him to get marriage with other girl.
3. don' t hesitate to take some violent decision also.
4. we have to live our life for ourselves. don' t forget that cos god has given a single chance to live in this world for us. we should not leave that chance.
5. do what ever you want to get that guy for your life it maybe a violence
BazK replied. Well if he can' t stand up for what he wants or you, he' s not worth giving your heart to.

Baz
Single British Asian ... replied. am nt gonna giv u ne suggestions.. cos evn am in d same boat.. almost.. i wanna ask u sumtin.. did u stop d marriage.. ??? n hw did u.. ??? in ma case.. its me who got engaged.. n ma guy askd me to muv on in ma lyf.. so pl suggest sum idea to stop ds marriage.. pl.. Another Girl replied. Hi Joti,

Think with heart and brains. This arranged marriage can stop even at the last moment. But think what you want.

You want a boy, whom u love, he probably is not...thats y no action' s on his part. You want a boy, who can' t stand for himself, is scared to disclose his love to the family members.... what kind of love is that...

Joti, in either case, whether u decide to b with him or not, stop this marriage.

This fellow is trying to destroy 2 lives, urs and that other girls... u know this fella is cheating that other girl also as he probably has not disclosed the fact to other girl that he had a relationship with u....

Methods of stopping this marriage:
1. Go back to India and speak to the girl
2. Go back to India and bring the boy back with you...
3. Ask the boy to tell the truth to the girl if he cannot speak to his parents... If the girl has brains.. she will leave this marriage.
4. Ask your friends to help you..
5. Go to girl' s family and show ur snaps with him
If you mail the snaps the guy may say that u r a past gf... which would not be a great deal for family members as he is a boy child...

The fact is..you need to speak face to face... to get ur love back...

Just \" a note to add...
\" Marry someone who loves u rather than someone whom u love...\" ... Best of Luck brande replied. i dun get y u still wasting time-u must get clear with it-actually, ther' s no point thinking of wat u shud do..
what u actually want? if u r clear enuf tat he is the only guy u wan in ur life, why wait any longer? go to him(wher r u at actually?). dont just call. go meet him. tell him tat u cant live without him-face 2 face- n tell him tat YOU can convince his parents(you must hv sum courage to do this..)-this will make him realise how much u love him-n wont get married to another gal.
if that doesnt work..,do whatever u can to STOP the marriage..tats all dear..gudluck