Relationships  Discussion Forum

i dont know what my problem is?? My family stays in native and my in laws stay 5 hrs drive from there.My husband is working in sales and he goes often abroad to visit his clients.I stay wth my husband and my son and my husbands cousin brother 10 hrs drive from my parents native.each time my husband goes for trip he sends me n my kid alone in bus to my parents native from wer i hav to travel again to my IL.this is very tiring and very hard for me as i travel alone.nO MATTER noone will come to stay wth me watevr we say...My SIL also hav a kid and wenver i ask her to come here,she says reason she cant travel wth kid alone.so how am i doin it alwys.noone is concerend.this time he is goin again for the trip and i am on strong decision i wont go.but i knw i cant hold it longer if he takes tkt and force ..what is my problm..??? i hate goin everytime ... y cant someone take turns..my parents case is ..my fathr has no job now and r really in tight situation.then his mother is paralysed so my mum has to stand thr to look aftr her.. so i cant force them though they hav come here whenver someone comes on vacation to take care of my old grandmothr.Am i being stubborn just lik tht...i dont knw.... please help.... S replied. Hi 1
I really cannot understand why you cannot stay alone by yourself .
And if you cannot then it is your problem and not anyone elses . and since it is your problem it is you who have to compromise and not they ...
And if you think your parents have thier own problems same is the case withyour inlaws . Actually you shoudl be thankful to them that they are allowing you to stay with them everytime your husband is going out of town.
sm replied. I will also suggest that u should stay at ur home only when ur husband is on tour. This way u' ll be able to give more time to ur child as well.

If ur husband forces u, explain ur situation cooly to him. Tell him ur problem and even if he don' t understand, ask him to either cancel his tour or take u with him on the tour.
Being dependent on parents or in-laws or anybody is not a good option.
Mel replied. What I don' t understand is... why can' t you just stay alone where you are ? It' s so bizarre. Throughout your message you write that you don' t like to go there, and why doesn' t someone come here ? Just as you don' t like to travel to your parents or ILs, your parents, ILs, SIL etc must be finding it difficult to travel to your place JUST BECAUSE YOUR HUBBY IS TRAVELLING.

I HONESTLY think you are being selfish and very silly.

There' s a couple of solutions:
1. Stay alone with your kid when your hubby is travelling. I do that. What' s the big deal ?

2. If you CAN' T stay alone (for some ridiculous reason that I cannot understand), then suck it up and travel.

And if you don' t mind staying alone and your hubby is forcing you, then put your foot down and tell him that either he should cancel his travelling, or else, he should let you do what you like to do. Which could be staying home on some trips, going only to your parents place on some trips, and going only to your ILs place on some trips.