Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

I have prob with tubes and doc has suggested IVF. I am hesitant to go in for that as I will have to listen lifelong from my inlaws and they will tell all relatives I feel- that I was \";incapable\"; of producing naturally. I asked my hubby not to tell anyone if we go for IVF, even my parents to make it a level playing field but he says we need their support during stressful situation like this. Also I do not know what his reaction/ thinking of me is - since I have to go in for IVF. Guest replied. I would say just dont tell them. Just say we are trying all the medical things we can. You know they will tell everyone they know that you guys had test-tube baby. And they wouldnt forget this lifelong and might hurt you even after you have baby. s replied. Dear Julie

I can understand your dilema. I have told any of parents either. I know in this day and age that people would understand but somewhere you don't want anyone to know. Also you don't need the extra worry on top of the stress of IVF treatment. There will be too many questions asked and if it does not work then it will be an extra strain. One thing you do need for a successful IVF is a stress less enviroment. If I were you tell your husband that to be more supportive for your worries. As a woman you will be the one who will be undergoing all the treatment, with the injections, egg retrieval and egg transplant. He needs to support you and keep your mind at rest. Also, if you can get support from the treatment centre where there might be psycologists to support you and your husband and to talk through it.

Good luck and hope everything works out fine.

Sc
Mita replied. Dear Julie,

I think you should go ahead with IVF. I am taking the treatment too. And believe me, if you confide in your paretns and in-laws, you will get all the support and moral strength to go through the entire process which can be emotionally stressful. Even if your parents or in-laws dont give 100% support, they will fall all over you once the baby arrives. So go ahead!!
And if you DONT want people to blame you for not concieving naturally, stop blaming yourself first! No need to feel guilty. You were made this way by nature and God so stop feeling guilty.
All the very best! loveena replied. Oh My God! I can't believe you think IVF is a \";social stigma\";!!! And what is there to fear of ILs or any relative saying you couldn't have baby naturally?? IVF is a medical process but after that you will carry the baby and deliver him/her naturally. It will be your body, your blood and your spirit!! Whats un-natural in that!!!
I hope you become strong and make other stupid people in your family understand that having a baby thru IVF is as natural and as OK as taking a medicine for cold !!
Be bold and chnage the world..Don't be a part of this stupid system where women are judged by stupid things like \";able to conceive\"; naturally!!