Relationships  Discussion Forum

HI everyone
well i am trying to find words to express what i am feeling right now.we live in uk.Last mont when we planned our india trip it was only my brothers wedding was to be attended but within few day informed my husband that even his brothers wedding is fixed.so it was 2 wedding we had to attend. i never had good relation with my mil even after being nice to her.they sent the card in which my name was changed to the name what they give after marriage where as my mils name is her maternal name & even my sils.so i wanted my brother to put my maternal name on his wedding card but he again did the same by putting my other name.i was hurt felt defeated by my mil in which i feel my brother also had his hand .he said he didnot do it intentionally because when he went to print the cards the person told him to put husbands house name.he said sorry made mistake.but this thing is eating me up.my mil always makes us feel low. she stole things from us.i want her dead.my husband is so sweet he tells me not to worry i have told him to put my maternal name in any thing we do.but i always feel for some reason that good people loose .why? aishu replied. thank u for replying back.friend u r not kidding thats what i was thinking.
kanta sister in law is her another daughter in law who is different caste but she dare touch her.chandra it is not about mil doing but doing all wrong things to us that hurts.now to all its high time i have had enough she said they brought two dresses they gave to me said the one which they had bought for me gave it to her big daughter in law because they thought she will not like the one which they bought for her even if she did not come for the wedding.i am thinking of returning the dress. Chandra replied. hey girly,
dont worry about it! i know how you feel...its not so much the name thing thats bothering you.
i realized that i used to get upset (never showed it) if my MIL said something and if my own mother said the EXACT SAME THING it wouldnt be a big deal. its hard to except ur mil as ur own, because for some reason, us women are just weird like that.
dont take this to heart. the best thing you can do is ignore things that bother you. you' ll eventually get used to it....and you will be a lot happier friend replied. Hi Aishu!
If this is your name ' Aishu' ,really its sweet to hear and say!
Dear Aishu,Its no surprise you like ur name atmost that u r worrying about name issue which might be seen as petty tings to others . But practicaaly, Its a silly issue to worry about! Just ignore it though its tough for u!
Because , I too like my full name but my hubby didnt like it as it sounds like north-indian name. So he just removed my middle name from our wedding card itself. I didnt feel bad for what he felt about my name. I just took it light. Even my dad used to feel same about my name. so dad told me to take it easy.
Even in wedding cards we printed my full name and his half name (we ignored his middle name :) ) and same there...they too ignored my middle name.So no issues on it.

When we are taking one person into our life, we have respect their likes and dislikes. You might say \" its my mil who changed my name not my huby\" ..But she is alos part of your life. She cant rule you so satisfying herself while ruling ur name acc to her wish in her children' s cards. ok?! BUT , u know what? while worrying about her acts, u r letting her to RULE ur mental peace too? Isn' t it?
So forget it!
If u still do not want to forget this issue, Postpone this worry for sevaral years and Just print ur MIL' s sasural name(present name) in ur son/ daughters marriage ...So u' ll be happy !! :) kidding!

bfn! kanta replied. hi aishu amit
there is no need to get so much upset about your maiden name not getting printed.
1. If you are so particular then you should not have agreed for name change at marriage time itself.
2.What they print on cards is their choice and they have not printed any funny name just your new name after marriage.
3.About mil printing her and her daughter' s maiden name but your new name ... yes this is partiality but cann' t be helped. You will only get high BP if you keep fretting about this.
4.Don' t magnify things by thinking your brother and mil planned all this to upset you. That they are plotting against you may be is your own fancy.
5.If you are so fond of your maiden name then get all your documents etc in your maiden name only. when you send out invitation then state your maiden name. get your maiden name printed in your kid' s wedding card. The point I am trying to make is you have no control over what you brother and mil did. You can only control your own actions.
6.Ignore this issue and grow up. Your are giving way to excessive importance to this name issue.