Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi to all,

Recently I had a baby and called my mom in law from india. She was very nice to me in India. But here she turned out to be a totally different person. She didn't like my husband helping me in the housework or taking care of me like waiting to have lunch or dinner with me or giving me warm milk to drink and all sorts of those things that men usually do for their pregnant wives. She used to say that I don't work and he is earning so I should not let him do housework instead prepare snacks and tea and wait for him to return from the office on hand and foot. Here you don't have servants so its normal for husbands to help u a little bit around the house even though u r not working. You just can't do everything urself specially during pregnancy. But she was not ready to understand this.Well, finally I had the baby and she left. But she did enough damage to our relationship and things started getting bitter between me and my husband because he got influenced with whatever his mom told him against me. His brother who is in India also teaches my husband to be very strict with me and all sorts of things.

I would really appreciate if you have any suggestions about how to renew my relationship with my husband and get the old love and respect.

I will really be greatful to anyone who takes a couple of mints and replys me.

Thanks! amrita replied. I totally understand where u r coming from. Everytime we go to meet my in-laws.....they influeze my husband some way or the other...like not eat too much meat or not eat out a lot...etc etc.after 6 years of marriage i have learnt that u need to have patience. They listen to what their parents have to say and slowly....but surely things go back to normal....u just have to shut up and wait it out. If u really need his help gently tell him. DON\";T MAKE AN ISSUE...once u do that it takes longer.....let it ride it's wave. If someday u r overwelmed tell him nicely, that u would love to do all the stuff that his mom said...but u have so much other stuff to do too and unlike in India, we don't have additional help.
If that still doesn't work...tell him since it is very difficult for u to do the cleaning, to hire help...the cost of it here will bring him to his senses in a jiffy...or he might just get u some help...either way it is a win win situation for you.
Anyway..i hope things work out...but pls don't spoil u'r relationship...looks likehe was a very loving husband during u'r pregnancy...it will all come back. mala replied. hi friend,

it is the common for all the daughter in laws wo live abroad.i faced same problems and also my friends. Just ignore them .u are very true we dont have any kind of help here so both husband has to share some responsibilities especially when they are with kids.even in laws being brought up among indian customs they talk like that only.dont take all that crap to heart.see i am telling you these same persons feel happy if their son in laws help their daughters but cannot take vice versa.so dont worry sit and talk to your hubby.ask him you need his support and tell him his support gives you strenght.take care