Relationships  Discussion Forum

we r living in US, and my in-laws in india along with my brother-in-law his wife and 2 kids. My hub' s sister, her husband and one kid are also staying in the same town. My sil fought with her in-laws and got settled in my in-laws town in a separate house. She does not cook my mil packs everything from breakfast to dinner and sends it to her daughters house.My mil even takes care of her son, my sil is just a housewife without even passing 10th std.My fil delivers everything to her house.

During weekends when we call both my mil and fil ask me what did i cook and tell me u should cook this , why didn' t u cook that bla bla which i get so irritated. I feel like telling them directly ask ur daughter first, but i m controlling myself before i show them how they have trained their daughter.

I m generally a kind of person who will bare for first 2-3 times whatever anyone says but give back to them properly the next time.. please tell me what to do...... my BP just shoots up when they advice me while they cover up their daughter. Another Girl replied. Hi,

I am sure it would be irritating. I faced the same while I joined my in laws for 15 days while I was on my vacation in India.

My MIL used to keep saying this or that always... habit as she is very very aged, my grandma' s age.

Anyways, don' t shoot your BP up and simply tell your MIL that you would cook what your husband likes. In case she says she knows him better as she is her mom, tell her that tastes change when you join a foreign country.

I am sure your MIL will not discuss these stupid issues with your husband, and if she does... who cares... your husband understands you and will explain his mum accordingly.

Ignore your SIL as this might create issues. Just be polite and be tactful. Also, if your MIL calls in absence of your husband or in his presence...just say yes to whatever she say' s... and later just forget... you don' t have to be attentive always...

Also try restrict your speach with your in laws, else they take undue advantage... This is my personal experience. Initially I used to be friendly with my MIL, then she started ordering me... then I started ignoring her... See it doesn' t really affect NRI' s. So maintain distance with in laws. Be good but distant, minimal talk.

Take Care SK replied.
I agree that it must be very irritating to listen to your MIL & FIL preaching you when their own daughter is complete useless.You should try and avoid saying anything to them directly since it will permanently put a crack in your relationship with them and being a DIL, you will be held responsible in your family' s eyes.
My suggestion to you is :

- Try to discuss your problem with your husband , but do not criticise your MIL or FIL.Choose your words carefully.

- Everytime they call & ask you to cook something or comment on what you cook , change the topic.

- If changing the topic doesn' t help, then tell them that whatever you cook is decided by your husband or he asked you to cook that.

- Tell them indirectly that they should try and make your SIL understand how to run a household.Tell them that your husband is very worried about his sister' s family and her son.

- Lastly, under no circumstance you should loose your temper or shoot up your BP.Thank your stars that your in-laws are in India and you are miles apart and so they are not interfering in your life in person.I am facing a similar situation in my life and my in-laws stay in the same city.SO you can imagine that !!! You can read the suggestions given to me under the topic \" my MIL- control freak\" .

I seriously hope that my suggestions help you.God Bless!!