Relationships  Discussion Forum

Friends,
I have posted my problem on 28th March under the topic \" My MIL - Control freak\" .Its increasing day by day & I feel as if I will loose my temper.I can not tolerate it any longer.Someone suggested under my problem , thats its normal behaviour of MIL and that I am wrong.Please, I want more suggestions and solution to my problem.Please help me.

Regards,SK sss replied. dear SK,
i agree with ABC completely.my mil also call me regularly and initially i was upset like you as she used to ask what i cooked for the day.and when i didnt cook something great,i dont like her asking the same.and most of the kitchen stuff i have is a gift from my MIl as she thought i dont have time for shopping as i am working .so it is natural.but with time,i understood that she doesnt mean any harm for me,but it is only her love and concern.i am happy with my MIL.now our relationship is very friendly and its thanks to her.i was the one who was reserved but she always talked to me continuosly and nicely.you know,when she has something to discuss,she do it with me more than her own son.that is our comfort level now.i am married for three yrs.all the best to you. Divya replied. Hi SK..
What ABC has sugested is realy nice. But i also know thts its also very dificult. I had the same problem with my MIL (Evn though we stay together).

I think ur MIL is currently very insecure and that is why she is doing this.. calling up 4 times a day is still ok coz u are lonely and want to make conversation. But checkin if u have changed sheets etc is i think a little over the top..

i think u will have to slowly make ur MIL realise that u are managing ur home well. But u will have to be very patient and subtle and not get into an argument..

LLike if she tells u not to make something coz ur HH doesnt eat.. tell her that it was infact his sugestion for u to make it....

When she tels u to change sheets tell her that it is was already done yesterday coz its the day that u change sheets.. she has to understand that u and ur HH are doing being taken care of well..

at the same time talk to her about other topics.. when she talks abt managing ur home change the topic as soon as possibe so that ur are not irritated..

i did the same thing with my mil and she finaly got the point after a few days.. now she lets me handle my own chores and interferes only when necesarry

hope this helps... ABC replied.
Hello SK, To be frank, u are blessed with a caring in laws and a excellent hubby. And be happy that u donot have SIL.

I am only child for my parants. Even my mother suggest and always advices me to do things like that, like this. My mother comi cook, what did i feed my baby tes chat everyday and asks me what did his morning, what i packed for lunch to my hubby. and she tells try to add that in ur recipe, change this, try that.........list goes on and on.

Some times i take it, and sometimes i shout at her telling that i know to manage my family. It is all about her concern and love for me. She can do that only to me. and donot have any other person whom she can advice or comment. her only source is me and my only source is her.

This logic applies to u too. I know it is tough for u to take ur MILs advice that too 4 times a day.

To speak about ur MIL, she has got no other world apart from her son and DIL. She is trying to live with u with such conversations. Just think, now her life is filled with loneliness, only little work through out the day, bored up with routine things like TV, shopping, cooking. So her mind will run around her loving son. Every mother tends to give THE BEST for her son or daughter, even in matter of curd. It may seem to be very stupid for u. But it is worth a lot for her.

Once u respond her like, I changed all bedsheets, i used ur fav color for this curtain, i did ur fav curry today, i wore the dress u bought for me, i liked this utensils that u bought on that day, and see the change how great she will feel about u.

Is Try to pick up some other topics in her phone conversation, like in office work is like this, be more friendly with her. Always Love the person who loves u. I think it will be tough in ur busy world, but there are somebody to call u and talk to u. coz most of MILs talk only to their sons and forget that there is a girl who is living with her son.

buy her some small gifts when u visit her. Even a very small thing will worth a lot for her. Really ur family is small and sweet. Enjoy it.