Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi all,

i have posted long back problems with my MIL during my pregnency and how tough it was for me to go through this. Now situation has improved as she knows there is no use of shouting at me becasue then there will be big hungama nad again her younger son will go mad. so she doesnt come in my way and now my husband has kept maid for my baby as we both are working and for making dinner another maid comes. my problems is that during these one and half years my relation with my husband has detoriated too much. when we want to go somewhere so that we can improve our relation, my MIL starts crying and make comments how he is going after me and how she will make her younger son understand. and later she admitted to my hubby, she should not have said that put with comment \" kya karein beta dil baith jata hai\" . what to say this kind of person i dont know. keeps making bechara face in front of her sons and does not let my husband spend time with me. on top of all these problems, our love in each other is lost and when he comes near to make love i fight with him you only come in night when your mother lets you come to your room otherwise if she will say you will stay there itself. then why mothers like her marry thier kids i can not understand. i want to ask a question, there may be same situations where parents wont let theri son come near to DIL, how you have tried to improve your life because i am sick being alone with my baby all the time and if i sit with them my MIL will keep saying things like how many proposals had come for him and how great those people were. all this comes into picture because now BIL has to get married and when they talk instead of real issue she will keep saying all these things. what to do in this sitaution. atleast how to make my life comfortable with my husband because i know he will never leave his mother. when he comes to home, he has to sit all the time with her becasue if he does not then after 2-3 days she will be angry or sick on one or another thing. give me practical solutions. he is not interested in playing with baby, so i have to handle baby when i come home, because my MIL has to take rest and my hubby also does not want to do much of activity. he will hold for 10-15 minutes and then again same sitaution. i can not keep my baby with them too as he will say mother is tired so you handle him. wont buy anything for my baby, not clothes, not necessities but they all will keep showing each other how much they love each other and how much they love baby. but the truth is that, my baby is not getting proper care, his clothes are not washed porperly because she does not say anything to maid, but makes maid clean toilets and all other husehold work. pretends in front of my bubby and BIL how much she loves baby whereas all days she wants to keep on doing household work, where there is not much work at home, does not feed my baby except milk where as he is 8 months old. when i came home at 7 in night, i make dal and give it to him, but how far i can go with this situation. but all day i have to see drama how son is taking care of mother and how she takes care. while making peace with his mother after marriage, he has left all the responsibities for me and my kid and now its only she and her sons. pritee replied. hey .... its a no win situtation ! phew

these MILs will never change. they want their sons to get married & at the same time dont want to loose control of their lives. they want to be always their center of attention & vice versa. this is bound to create problems between u & ur spouse.

even our husbands r no less, the minute their mothers say something, its to be done !!

all i can say is that please take care of ur child. if the maid is not doing a good job, change her.

& if u have anything like work from home, try it for 10-15 days & train the maid accordingly. hope ur child is atleast fed properly..... try speaking to ur MIL that the maid is majorly there to look after the child & not household chores.

i too undergo a lot like u.... its either we fight it out or sit at home !

take care
pritee