Relationships  Discussion Forum

Ladies...

I was wondering:

1. Why Inlaws are happy to see their daughters happy with their husbands but dont like to see their sons make their wives happy and loved???

2. Why IL's find great happiness in seeing that their daughter's husband loves her but call their son a \";joru ka ghulam\"; if he loves his wife???

Any Ideas? would love some inputs from all of you...

tejmom replied. because dil is someone else's daughter, so she doesnt mind torturing her. her son mostly stays with her or if she wants she can go and meet her son any time she wants but thats not the same with her daughter if she misbehaves with her son in law, he will kick her daughter out. they wont tolerate and her daughter will be a laughing stock of the community. thats not the case with dils. they mostly tolerate her tortures. even if she decides to leave her husband also, mil will be ready to get him married the second time. our society is like that what to do? Hi Augustborn replied. Hi Augustborn,
I see you are so angry with all the In Laws of this world..In every forum I see your bitter comments about Mils and Sils, may be the reasonis you have a bad MIL or Sil but it doesn;t mean you have to generalize the problem.
Lemme ask you these questions..
1.Why we bitch about or MIL or Sils in public but hate if our brother's wife does the same to us or our mothers?
2.Why do we want our husbands to not talk to their parents with affection but want our brothers to be an obedient son even if it means ignoring or sister in laws?
Augustborn, you seem to have harbored anger and frustration because of sour relationship with your MIL or SIL, but please don't generalize this situation. I am a living proof of the sitautions wher in laws love their DILs as much as their daughters. So its not always true what you have written in your post here...
try to look for peace and harmony inside. Bitching baout or generalize everybody's in laws as bad people will not give you happiness. another DIL replied. Its all about expectations. In our society, parents usually don't live the daughter's family. So they don't expect her to take care of them. BUt a son must do that & hence the problem. They are usually very possessive about him. When they see their son with his wife, they think, now he is not going to love us. We are going to be forgotten. So lets not accept her at all. Lets outcast her. And hence the eternal fight. In rare fortunate cases, ILs realize that their son's priorities lie with his wife & kids first. And they let go. Those are the only ones who can be happy.
cd replied. wish we could have known and not been disilllusioned with this entire facade of marraige before hand.

elsewhere in the world men run away from commitment, in ILs countries like ours, the next generation girls will runaway from commitment! who the hell needs to face such horrible beings!

really is marraige worth it? in india when they say girls get maaried to familiy its not untrue. along with the groom / husband comes the whole bandwagon of horrible in -laws schemeing sils terrible problems..

i wish there was a way out..
august born, am august born too, good to see a unfaltering spirit in this land of the depressed dils!

keep those posts coming in... augustborntoo replied. well to respond to that I will say that they compare the financial and emotional situations of their daughters with the bahu - and if bahu is more happy than them the IL's cannot stand it or take it all in and instead of appreciating the goodness they burn inside and it comes out as negativity towards the bahu - i have seen that 99% this is trueeeeeeee. augustborntoo replied. well,
it is always said that daughter bring their husbands from home to their parents house and bahus take their husbands to go to their own parents (mayka).
when dil's enjoy doing anything IL's think they are spending money and when the same thing is going on with their daughters - thatz enjoyment

thatz how the whole thing runs its a cruel cycle.Which some husbands (like mine) never understand that ILs (though his parents) can have a different view towards the DIL