Relationships  Discussion Forum

I' m sailing in almost same boat many of you are in now.
I love hubby dearly...and I respect him if he is not partial to them. But sing to their tunes always.
He never buy something happily for me...but I' m also simple lady never expect more than some love and affection.
But he behave practical to me and when he see his mother , he just behave over that no girl can tolerate...they sit wherever they sit while holding hands...he lie down in her lap. I told him its little embarassing for me. He seemed to be understanding...but he went alone to his place and she must have told him soemthing about it and this time when they visited again I had to tolerate all their overaction.This time I told him again I' m unable to tolerate it. So he is being himself without talking to me much ... He cant deal with his mother and he has much force from there...so he want to make me adjust to this funda//
He is father of a child but the way he behave with them is really irritating. Makes me feel alone when they lean eachother and laugh.
He never be romantic with me (except when he is needy for ' it' ) ...he strongly critisise couples touch each other in public...Then, y cant he avoid himself which is irritating to me.

Ok, he is stressed for it...! let me leave this issue. When ever he has to buy me something he takes lot of time and its never been easy for me to buy something special...But when it comes to them he gets excited to buy for them whatever he bought for me...Its like he manages 3homes...one -mine, mil' s sil' s.
They themselves sound and strong to lead lavish life ...buy costly clothing and jewellery .my husband arranged home for parents, gold and furniture for his sister ...So my fil was free of any responsibilities and have much money... So now they n' joy money in the way they want .

Ok, its responsibility for him and he is proud of it.. But when FIL buy something, I never get any share. But if I buy very little once in a while he tempts to buy for them.
I would have not mind if he buy for me with same excitement and love. but it never happened. its always lot of waiitng and discussion for buying anything for me.

He is earnign in lakhs but its only for himself .never care to care my feelings. Another Girl replied. Hi Jyo,

As is said, “Marriage is an end of romance for boys and beginning for girls”. This statement holds true for most of the females. Most covers 80%. There are 20% of the couples who still remain romantic after marriage… lucky ones….

Your issues>>>>

You mentioned that when it comes to buying for you, he takes time. When he gets your stuff, he wants a similar stuff for his mother and sister. Hope I understood it correctly.

>>> Your husband takes time, thinks what will suit you best and then buys for you. And see when it comes to mom and sister, he only thinks that “the thing which looks good on my wife, will suit my mother and sister too”. Your husband does not consider his mothers or sisters preference. That’s a positive attitude. So you should be proud for that matter that he really undergoes searching multiple places to get something for you. He probably is not excited because he knows that once he gets you something, he has to get the same for his mom and sister also.

Also, after marriage, wife is closest to a husband. A wife knows about the financial status of her family. So she plans accordingly. A wife in fact knows all the things about husband which neither a mother knows nor sister nor dad. So just feel the best and expect a practical behavior.

There could be another reason why your husband gifts his mother and sister, so that they are not jealous of you and don’t treat you badly. You might have read so many cases where mother in law and sister in law tries to create gaps between husband and his wife.
There would be several on India parenting also. So your husband just tries that you and his child remain safe.

Coming up to your husband sleeping on mom’s laps and so on which irritates you, I agree it irritates, but think, when you go to your parents place, don’t you enjoy the similar way. Don’t you buy gifts for them, probably less in number.

Now you can’t expect a son to sleep on dad’s laps. 

Have a think over it dear girl, and try avoiding things, and start taking the things in the manner which are best suited to circumstances.

Take Care