Relationships  Discussion Forum

After Tanu' s reply to my post i went back and read some of the older posts. Yours, dddd' s and mine, how come they all are so similar. It is like a dejavu! I can' t believe it. I am feeling sorry for all of us, and to other abused girls. Staying away from abusers have brought my peace back. I am sure you all are safe and peaceful too! dddd replied. Hi Sumathi,How are you? I left a mail for u yesterday and didnt get a response.If you get a chance to see,please do reply.
Take care
dddd replied. Thanks Sumathi. I did get my work permit. I am unfortunately in a remote area. But nevertheless i am trying.I also got an offer for a job here but its like commission based. Not regular income.Here i did try for teller jobs but they all need experience. Now i feel getting married after my graduation was a big mistake and shud have got some work experience.
Now coming to my husband i didnt update in my last post although title mentioned it. I have been very aggresive and dont let him talk about work permit or GC. This will certainly devastate them and try to ruin it as much as possible and put up a caring face.My husband has been making a lot of effort and cant say I am glad as it seems so artificial.My inspiration is my SIL and following her foot steps I l dont let him do anything without consulting me. It doesnt make me happy but it relieves me quite a bit as my in laws wont be able to extract info and make wrong use of it.Sumathi if possible leave your temporary e-mail in your next post i will be able to give info about lawyers.
How are you and your baby doing?
Take care. dddd replied. Hi Sumathi,How are you and the baby?
I have been under tremendous stress due to my husband' s job situation and couldnt get to reply in any posts.
As much as its painful to see somebody undergoing same as us,we do come across them.I can give anything to get last 5 yrs of my life back.As Tanu said maybe bad Karma.Only thing I can say was we were meant to get married to our husbands. It was God' s will. Now can also tell it was God' s will to teach my husband to value his wife.Even if we are not bad people we are called choiciest of things from husbands and in laws But they put an innocent face and say we care for u and its a big deal.
Sad cant describe anything we all feel.If I am correct.AS you send God should give us some strength to forget our past.
Chandra replied. wow, there are others like me! i mean i knew girls have trouble with their inlaws, but these msgs you guys wrote it like ME writing them!
i' ve only been married for like 8 months, and now im pregnant..6 months pregnant. you think my inlaws and husband would let me be happy! but, oh gosh, they have made my life hell!
i did everything they wanted, went with them wherever they wanted me to go (they believe in a saint/bhabhaji, i dunno how to explain it, because its something i have never encountered) but they wanted me to go with them, of course, being their daughter in law. and i was NEVER even a little religious, but just wanted to make them happy even if i didnt believe in it.
whatever they even told me to eat! i used to eat it. if i wanted one roti, which is all i ever have, they would force me to eat another...not in a mean way, but i was seriously in a bad position after eating more..lol

all of this, everything, i did the way they wanted. in all of this, what i should have been doing was studying for my exam. but i wanted to make them happy, not like they didnt know i had to study.

but everything turned upside down, well i guess it always was, but i never realized how controlling they were because i figured, girls have to make a lot of adjustments, until it came to a point where they wanted me to drop out of medical school! i was like, NO WAY. (im at my brother' s house right now because I' m in school here, and studying) and they told me, not to come back, have the kid there, and when im DONE my degree, THEN come back. obviously i was SHOCKED. the fil said a lotta mean things. my husband also did too. he' s become like an animal or something. im pregnant, we have a child on the way and he treated me sooooo badly.

luckily my parents are supporting me completely. if they werent around, these people would have ruined my life! but now im getting a lot stronger. its so bad the way we have to go through all of this stuff. needless fighting. i' ve never said a word to my inlaws, even after the fil said a lot of mean things to me.

im not glad you guys are going thru the same kind of thing, but only that i know im not alone. my parents were saying the same thing, how did we get stuck with such mean, cheap, annoying people. they didnt even pay a cent for the wedding! i didnt think if was a big deal, because it was in my home town and the guests were like 90% ours. but even for the video or pictures which cost a lot! so my parents didnt mind at all, but then...my fil AND HUSBAND said, they cant afford the baby!!!

so now, my parents are like, let them come to you, they' ll be running around themselves. and that im just gonna do my thing here, study and be happy for the baby. i cant believe people like this exist!!!!!!! SL replied. Hi,
I really agree and relate to every word that you girls have written. I was also considered the brightest in my family. I have just one sister and she cries and says that you had a wonderful family who loved u. Not one person in my family not like me and why do u hv to hear such bad things from these people. I am the only one to blame for wht I hv gotten myself into cause mine is a so called love marraige. In a way i' m glad as my parents won' t hv the guilt. I really wanted something very basic in life...loving, caring understanding husband who will treat me like a equal or maybe just like a human being. I have loads of friends and I really can' t think of anyone that i must hv hated or resented so much. i really like people a lot...maybe thats why i never saw this coming in my life. Sumathi replied. Especially the part - we all entered into the marriage with the hope of making good relationships with mil, fil and sil. Later we all had some good hopes on our Fil. Fil being soft and obedient to Mil and sil. Husband blindly believing mil and sil.

How many such families exist? Is it more common for already working or capable of earning woman, to get trapped into such families? May be fate had some plans to do something good which is why it joined the opposites in a marriage?

I thought there can be only few women like me who got deceived by these actors. Now it looks more!

Especailly ours are arranged marriages. We all were educated, and from a good family. In spite of all these we failed to realize the true colors of these cunning people at the time of marriage. We also didn' t realize it for few years after marraige. We bent below to please and change these evil people into good ones. Now I can' t understand how ignorant i was.

I am feeling very sad for all of us. I am praying to God to give consolation to our minds, to forget the past, to give us strength and show us the right path for our and our children' s future.