Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hello all,
I' ve got a MIL who' s working as a lecturer. She' s a Ph.D. and the most educated in our family. I' ve been married for 3 years now. But she has this weird habit. Every time i try to change anything in the house (i' m an architect) she' ll say she' s very happy about it and then she' ll change the arrangement to how it was earlier. even about the cooking. any time i' ll make anything she' ll never say its good. she' ll say \" i' ll teach you how to make this\" and believe me oncce i had a party of 35 ppl licking their hands off the chicken i had prepared and thats the reply i got. i used to ignore it but lately i' ve started getting irritated. dunno what to do since we stay together. Dd replied. Hi,
I can understand what u r going thru. I am also an architect & one of my strength is functional planning in limited space. I had similar problem with sil. She also does not let anyyone chnage anything in the house. we had small house & sil-mil both r very much attached to their things so the kind of furniture we have is all oversized for the house & alos arrranged in a way to make it look more chaotic. My fil likes my suggestions & mil also excepts sometimes but can not implimante it bcs sil objects. i stayed with bil-sil for first 2 yrs(mil-fil were in another city due to fil' s job) in rented house where we had very less furniture so it was not the problem but than we purchased this house but i moved to another city due to mydh' s job chnage & didn' t interfer the way they did things in that house. than my fil retired & mil-fil shifted there. they bought lots of furniture from there place which was way too much for the house we had so it became chaos. then i had to oo there to stay for 3 months before bil' s weeding to help bcs dh was overseas & fil had fracture at that time. that time sil was away for a month. i was finiding it so cojusted in the house & we were getting it painted so with the help of painters i changed the arrangement of one of the room which mil-fil liked & also the relatives who came to visit. but sil came back after aweek & she mad a big fight about it, to the extent that my fil got angry & thought of to walking out of the house but we had to revert it back to maintain the peace. from than on i stoped suggesting & also i went to overses with dh for 4 yrs. when we came back before 3 yrs., we both were finiding the place so sufocating but were not allowed to do any changes. my dh tld me u chnage whichevr way u want inside our bedroom but forget about other areas so i did that. now we have moved out before 6 months & i have full freedom to do what i like in my house.

sory for boring u with my story but advice for u is rearrange your bedroom the way u like may be replace some old furniture with new ones of your choice in your bedroom & if she says anything tell her mom it is my personal space & i like it this way.
for cooking alos my mil-sil were very stubourban about the way it had to be done, so sometimes i used to cook seprate things my way just for myself & dh & fil used to try it. you just have to try & find your own solution to it.
good luck