Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi all,
hope many of you may also face a similar situation
i feel that my MIL is very compitative with me.she was with us for few days in USA and try to prove in front of my friends that she was the best cook and make me feel sad in front of them.
when my friends used to come home she never let me talk and she has this thing of stealing the show.she always wanted to invade my and my hubby's privacy and if would not be answered some questions she would make a big deal out of it.she always used to tell that i have made my husband change . if i tell this to my hubby he used to show a cold feeling. even now after MIL going back to india she dominates on me and wants to know what is happening between me and hubby
pls help secret friend replied. thanks s for your suggestion, it really came to me as a big sigh of relief, when i saw juvinile's reply i was more depressed coz i was hurt back by those words
thanks once again s replied. Most of us have faced such situations and the solution is quite simple.Your mil is obviously concerned that she does not get shut out of her son's life after his marriage.She is insecure and you can help her out of it.Admire her on her cooking,tell guests that her cooking is great,ask her on cooking tips,tell her your husband misses her cooking and tell her to give you some of his favorite receipes(all this even if you hate her cooking).Your husband would have changed with time and not because of you but no use telling her that,so just ignore it.My mil makes my husband's favorite dishes from his childhood when we go to India ,only to find that he no longer likes them.It is sad but true.On such occasions tell her the receipe is great and that you should try it on your kids.Dont share details of your married life with her and never tell her about your fights(For that sake with any relative) but share the unimportant details like your weekend food,his work in office,what you did on some special occasion,the childrens activities etc.Always better if you call up before she does because in this case you take her by surprise and she may not remember her list of proding.Remember your husband will love you more when you accept his parents(Even if you cant,dont show it to him). s replied. Most of us have faced such situations and the solution is quite simple.Your mil is obviously concerned that she does not get shut out of her son's life after his marriage.She is insecure and you can help her out of it.Admire her on her cooking,tell guests that her cooking is great,ask her on cooking tips,tell her your husband misses her cooking and tell her to give you some of his favorite receipes(all this even if you hate her cooking).Your husband would have changed with time and not because of you but no use telling her that,so just ignore it.My mil makes my husband's favorite dishes from his childhood when we go to India ,only to find that he no longer likes them.It is sad but true.On such occasions tell her the receipe is great and that you should try it on your kids.Dont share details of your married life with her and never tell her about your fights(For that sake with any relative) but share the unimportant details like your weekend food,his work in office,what you did on some special occasion,the childrens activities etc.Always better if you call up before she does because in this case you take her by surprise and she may not remember her list of proding.Remember your husband will love you more when you accept his parents(Even if you cant,dont show it to him). juvinile replied. Should I tell you straight truth?? All the problems are within you. In fact with most of the women such problems are there. Because you think too complicated. Straight thinking is not any women's way.
First you sincerely hope that many women will be in the same situation as yours. which is obviously true, be assured !
Then you \";FEEL\"; your MIL is your competetitor and your mother in law might also \";FEEL\"; the same. You want sole right on your husband and she wants sole right on her son. Your husband even if tries to settle this issue can do nothing since both of you will \";FEEL\"; that you are being neglected. You dont want to understand how difficult is for your MIL to leave control over her son after marriage. She doesnt want to understand that she should retire from her son's life after his marriage. Both of you \";FEEL\"; this and that and wage a cold war against each other. For you she is intruding your privacy, though she thinks she is simply asking a few personal questions as before. Then you think she wants to belittle you by preparing good food, though she always prepared the same food, only differnce being the jealousy in you after marriage. She thinks that her is a normal behaviour as it was before marriage of her son.
Why did she marry her son at all then? Did she want somebody in her competetion?
And finally let me tell you if your husband would have become ghar jamai, your mother/father would have done the same thing as yout MIL is doing. So it is not only your particular case that needs to be corrected. It is in general the same situation everywhere. Generation gap remains..