Relationships  Discussion Forum

During my 1st visit to in-laws after marriage,I saw my mother in law weeping daily,fighting with DH,suspecting him of forgetting her after marriage,of stopping her monthly money as I may stop him,he will go to my maternal home for vacations,etc.So DH often told me about his oppressed childhood,very dominating & violent mother who had also been suspecting me of trying to separate both of them even before marriage,did not find any match for him,had once burnt his leg with hot tawa,pierced his hand with pencil,hit him with broom,hanger,etc.He avoided sex with me as any such noise may upset her.She exposed to others bangles gifted to me by my mother,taunted me daily about it,complained to DH about me over minor issues.So he often fought & shouted at me,did not show me any love/affection,etc. which I deeply wanted & later justified his behaviors as he could not handle his mother.Dear girls,wat do you think is wrong with her & how I need to act with her??? as replied. she' s probably feeling insecure or has got some inferiority complex....cause such ppl sometimes act violently to hide their insecurities or inferiorities.....cud be that she herself has had a disturbing past which has made her to behave so crudely with her own son....surely no mother can display such violence with her son unless she herself has not been treated with any love/affection/kindness by her close family.
The best way to act with such ppl is to make them feel secure, give some importance. Assure her that her son will always be her son and that you have not come to take him away from her...you want to be a part of the family. Don' t try to show any feelings or display any actions which proves that you know your DH better than she knows her son.
Give her some time, respect and affection, she' ll soon come around and realise your importance in her son' s life. It' s in your hands to change your mil, situation, not in your DH' s hands.
Lastly, don' t blame your DH. It' s very tough for men to decide between mother and wife. They always find it hard convincing their mom as compared to their wife:).....don' t worry he definetly loves you and will start showing it soon... gg replied. ...other thign try to be freinds with her too...she may be rude to u but dont let such things affect u ....take her out...gv her importance... gg replied. ignore is the best thing...n u concentrate only on ur husband...thas it...tyr to get very close to him...