Parents of Preschoolers  Discussion Forum

Hi, My son is 5 years old and is in Sr.KG, he does not like to go down to play with other kids. He does not like to mix with people or speak with adults. He does not even respond when others wish him or greet him. All he likes to do is watch cartoons and play games on the PC. He also does a lot of whining when asking for things.I also have another 5 month old son.
Am I going wrong somewhere in my behaviour with him or is there any other way to change my son's attitude. Please help. Viany replied. Frankly I was relived to know my kid is not the only one who is shy.

We have a 6+ who has the same problume and a 1 1/2 yr old who is a compleat opposit of his brother and no we dont compart the two spl. in front of the elder.

He dosent wish guest at home, dosent play with his mates in the part and would rather take his cycle and ride it. Is shy even with friends at school and runs into trouble with the bullies in the class.

Sometimes I as a father blame myself for not spending more time with him playing and talking to him.

But we have geans to blam as well both me and my wife are introverts. My wife being more than me maybe thats why we dont have that knack of encouraging him to make more friends. Though he does have a couple of them whome I compleatly dispise-one of them for his family background and the other for being a shy kid himself and suprisingly a bully himself.

In the beginning when we realised that he was a shy kid we respected it as part of his basic nature and didnt want to pressurise him into anything and felt he would improve with time.

Now that hes almost 7 and in the 1st grade I sometimes spend sleepless nights woundering wheather he would miss out on oppertunities in life because of his shyness.

If anyone can make any sence out of my predicment plese try to help and also put some sence into me.

amita replied. 1. Is he showing this behaviour all along or it started just few months back?

2. Observe your/hubby's behaviour if you got him into the habit of watching TV bcos it was convinient for you to talk or do things in house so that he does'nt ask many questions or you creates a mess with toys etc.

3. Do adult members in house spend quality time with him - reading books, asking abt his friends, teachers, his likes/dislikes/fears, teaching him new things, playing with him, taking him out?

4. Is he getting ignored by words/actions by you/any member/relative in house bcos new baby is in house. Is anyone overly praising/showering the new baby with gifts while you tell him to be the 'big' boy and scold him for his behaviour.

If you find any of the above things are happening you and ur hubby should correct them. Also get the grand parents involved in the same. Try not to talk abt his shyness and reserved behaviour with every second person , that will make him more reserved. Praise him for his good deeds in front of everyone. LN replied. Invite some kids in your house to play or tell dad/grand parents to take him to a playschool/garden once/twice a week where he gets to see others kids playing. Make a point to talk to him, ask him lot of questions, get him involved with ur new baby even if u are busy. Read books with him. Don't ignore him bcos u are busy with ur new baby. Everyone in the house should get him actively involved - maybe he feels lonely bcos the attention is diverted to the new baby. LN replied. Invite some kids in your house to play or tell dad/grand parents to take him to a playschool/garden once/twice a week where he gets to see others kids playing. Make a point to talk to him, ask him lot of questions, get him involved with ur new baby even if u are busy. Read books with him. Don't ignore him bcos u are busy with ur new baby. Everyone in the house should get him actively involved - maybe he feels lonely bcos the attention is diverted to the new baby.