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Womens Issues:Married ladies please share your thoughts
2007-12-30
Name: vasavi



I have been putting off asking this deliberately but now decided to pour it out. Mine is an arranged marriage and Iam one of the lucky ones to get the most wonderful man as husband. Iam blessed with a baby girl in these 4 years of married life. He loves me so much and understands me more than my parents also and Iam really thankful to the almighty for this.
Our only issue is regarding sex. At times when I really feel like having it he would behave so casual about it making me feel like a slut. This really breaks my heart. Even if he is completely aroused, he would pretend as though he is so tired or not interested. Once in 3/4 months we would end up in an argument and for the next couple of days or so, he would show me heaven and then again the same old story would continue. I can feel his affection for me ina all walks of life sans this issue. In a month atleast two or three days I would really feel like having it and even after deliberately showing my interest he would not co operate. At times I have even cried thinking Iam over active and should control myself. For a couple of months, I made up my mind and started pretending as though even I didn' t care anymore, then he was trying to force me to do it. I was very adamant and didn' t co operate that he realy felt so bad during those days and my heart was aching to see him sad.
My only concern is this. Such a honest man, who loves me more than anything in this world and is a perfect gentleman why would he not be interested in satisfying me when I really feel and need it. Attimes I self pity myself thinking Iam no good for him or I guess its just my imagination.
ladies, I would really appreciate honest answers from you. Do you also feel such attitude problems when it ultimately comes down to sex with your husband?
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2008-01-02
#1
Anonymous Name: sunrise79
Subject:  Hello contd.......



Hi Vasavi,

contd.....

One day she said, she is so tired... i didn' t do anything except a warm hug & kiss to make her feel like \" i' m here for you\" before sleep. But you know what, we endup having s-x on that day too...
what i understood from this is, she turn on very easily. We talked each other and I gave her one suggestion. That is \" if she need it badly, even if i am tired, its her duty to make me ready\" . Now a days, its going smoothly for us.
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2008-01-02
#2
Anonymous Name: sunrise79
Subject:  Hello



Hi Vasavi,
I am a married Man. Though you asked comments from married ladies, i am just posting my experience on the same problem.
The same situation happened to us on one fine day. I was active on that whole day and my wife gave me a hint for her desire to have it, but i told her i am feeling sleepy and slept. Next day she asked to me directly the same question what you have put on the board (feeling like s**t).
The answer i gave her is: suddenly some thought came in to my mind and occupied my mind completely. i lost my mood on s**. So i went to sleep.
She asked another question to me. the question is \" whenever you come to me for this, i never say NO even if i am tired (its true). But why you are doing like this...\" . I really felt bad and started thinking about it....
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2008-01-03
#3
Anonymous Name: Kumar
Subject:  male can not be passive



Fortunately or unfortunately, the male participation in s** HAS TO BE active, or else the damn thing wont stand at all! However, for women the anatomy is such that even if an woman is not feeling too intensely for s**, as long as she does not hate it alltogether or dead tired to take the toll, its possible for her to just allow it to happen and watch her loved one satisfied and feel happy about it.

This may explain the difference in behavior for the two partners in similar circumstances.
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2008-01-01
#4
Anonymous Name: abc
Subject:  hi



dear vasavi,
dont loose heart.this happens everywhere.atleast i know in my case.sex can happen only when both partners are ready for it and when one is not ready the other should respect that.if you start making this an issue and criticise him for it,he will move further away.as you told,if everything else is fine b/w you people, just give him time.i dont think there is any problem with both of you.
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2007-12-31
#5
Anonymous Name: Srey
Subject:  Posted in S*X



Check out my reply in S' X
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Married ladies please share your thoughts


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