Relationships  Discussion Forum

Sonali,
Be strong urself.
What u r facing is quite similar to what I face daily.
I' m verymuch feeling low today...just because of the same reason. Always being as imperfect person in hubby' s eyes.

My grandparents have come and I was little busy today and ...As this is the first time they visited me, I was little enthu in doing something fav dishes for them...So, little bit delayed my regular routine while sending my daughter school. While I was in hurry I broke a glass jar (Gosh!)...and had to clean up the kitchen before anyone step up there....So, messed up myself...Yes, fact is my hubby is caring dad for baby...so he gave my preschooler her food... So, I' m happy that atleast he helped me...(though, he was ready to go to office). But he is short tempered and so called efficiency-freak person.So expect me to do things like a robo without mistaches. I believe \" to err is human\" ! But, my husband gave many bad expressions to me while feeding her food which mean \" U r a such stupid ...\" So , I was little upset today...Because everone went their places now...and still I remember his anger filled looks and expressions while going to office...


Y cant these men realise ...We r just humans?
When I' m free , I called up my mom and felt little bad that he is angryman...my mom says \" Its ok,his nature is that. He has no patience to hide his feelings...and he shows it...Ok, let him. ! If u r such patient..Y cant u tolerate simple looks and expressions.. ? When u claim he is not tolerating mistaches done by u, Y cant u tolerate his nature of being arrogant. He has that weakness like u have ur weakness \"

It went on... So I too felt \" its ok\" and just sent him a cute mail which will break the ice!

So, Sonali, I know how low we feel when a person we r living with keeps on pinpointing us...But, just have to be confident ourselves. If we stay alert , none dare to say a word ...Just show him ur confidence level. I liked Adviser' s ideas....But I dont think my hubby inside his heart believe me I' m better than any rest in life...Like urs,He has belief in his mother too.
But I show him manyitmes what can I do, which she/his sis cant do.

So, sonali, lets keep confidence in us. Sothat we' ll not get hurt for someone' s comments. Tell ur husband strictly that dont make u leaniant infront of his mother. My hubby doesnt make me down in front of his family. And even if they comment something like \" curry is less spicy..\" etc... He just cut those comments ..\" Oh, I like it,its very tasty and the spices r enough\" . Tell ur husband constantly... To increase ur respent in his family and its his duty... He' ll definitely realise this soon.

Best of luck..And just cheer up urself! Kumar replied. Sonali alias Anas mom and Dip,

There are plenty of loveless marriages all around us, think of your neighbors, it will not be easy to spot a marriage of great love, if you know enough about them. A loveless marriage is fine but NOT an abusive one.

In the name of adjustment please please do not approve of violence and abuse by your husbands, approval of violence is NOT LOVE from your side!

Go talk to a counselor and learn to evaluate/judge how loved your marriage is. Loved marriage again does not mean no difference of opinion or no fights, but love surely means compassion, understanding of each others emotion, equality of status and respect, sex only after mutual desire and acceptance etc.

I am a man and I love my wife, we have a beautiful daughter and our D knows that both mummy daddy love each other madly/very much. Anas Mom replied. Dear Dip,

Its good taht ur husband does not let u down in front of his family at least.

What would you say to someone who keeps portraying to his family who was initially neutral towards the DIL that she is ill natured and keeps bad mouthing everyone.

How can one explain to a person like this that its only going to starin the relations with this attitude.
Initially my in-laws did not have any negativity abt me but with my husbands constant complaints tehy also feel he has a very bad wife.
No matter what i do he is only critisising me and now his parents keep symapathising him and together i keep facing the brunt of 3 people.

I have never understood why he started doing this... since as per my understanding i always felt husbands generally had some feelings atleast towards the wife atleast in the initial days of marriage.

But mine was a very differnet and unique case i feel and neither was our an arranged marriage. We had met thru a matrimonial portal and approved each other before going ahead with the marriage.
The problem started when he started interacting with my family and then i think he started developine a complex and his behaviour has been changing since tehn.