Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi all.thanks 4 ur replies.i wanted to confirm few more things.hubby was mentally v.abusive wid me.so i was always v afraid and not open with him talking wise.he is too dominating,obsessive,controlling and short tempered man.showed me down always.no appreciation for anything.only criticsm.cud this be the reason y i dint get lubrication/excitement?

his parents n relatives wnat to come to my house(parents' house) n take an assurance from my mother and i after in viting my relatives also that white discharge & pain shud not happen again.now how can my mother tell all i wont have pain again?isnt this stupid?if we dont give this assurance,i wont be sent bak to DH who is abroad.and my parents have to spend on all my treatments.my gynae says white discharge is v common amongst females.I' m unnecessarily paranoid.she doesnt know in-laws are making me paranoid.and she says lubrication happens in all women b/w puberty to menopause.I' m 28.but she doesnt know hubby was always mentally abusive.sometimes physically also.so i had lst my self confidence from the beginning only.
i get pain even after applying lubricants altho pain happens only in insertion and during the first 3-5 strokes.then it vanishes.but wen hubby sees me make painful expression during insertion,he gets very agitated & thinks i' m crazy,altho i say i will bear it,just go on.but he doesnt listen and stops there and then.

do u think anything is wrong with me?please advise....what shud i do now? SK replied. Its really silly that your hubby is taking councelling sessions from your ILs.Best way is not to give much importance to what your ILs say & speak to your hubby directly.make him understand that such bedroom stuff should be confined to bedroom only.develop a warm relation with him & ask him to make your comfortable mentally & physically.I am sure that things woudl work out but do not get too much involved with what your ILs say ! All the best ... Namita replied. Dont give so much importance to your IL' s .. show them tht they have no right to speak to ur parents in arrogant way and disucss this things ... bt. before this I have few questions for you:

1) Do u think he will change after u get lubrication?

2) Is your prob. only pertaining to sex or even his behaviour? are you ok with his behaviour?

3) How can you allow them to come to ur parents house to discuss this? y shud ur parents b invlovled in all this? infact, it should b only bet. u n ur husband. if his parents are getting themselves involve it is their prob. bt they hve no right to speak to ur parents.

4) Y is ur husband being so much abusive? did u ever discussed this with him?

5) Is he having some psychological prob/

6) Do you think ur inlaws and husband vl respect you for any reasons in near future?

7) Are you working? Can you search a job for yourself?

8) do u think is it worth staying in such realtion?

Kindly answ. me, so that i can help you how to hanlde this situation Srey replied. This is how I see it....

A very scared wife, and a bunch of unsupportive inlaws. And, with all the people, Your husband too! :0

Anyway, their is nothing wrong with you.

Since you said your husband is short tempered, I also believe this is a hugh factor in you not being wet enough. I mean, come on.......How can you get excited, when him and his family is talking BS about you. It' s a big turn off, right?

Listen to your OBGYN. Every female have white discharge(it is very normal). Even without pain! Hence....That' s why we have yearly Pap Smear to see if these discharge is normal or not, right?

**Try to apply more lubrication. Is it a water-based lub you are using?? Do not use Vaseline!!

Keep using it, even after the 3-5 strokes. Go through a whole tube if you have too.(LOL)

**Don' t let your in-laws get to you.

**Even if it' s painful, imagine that you are at a beautiful place, with the man you love and etc...(Fantasize about something, it might even make you wet)

**Remember this takes time. You don' t have to rush into it. Your body will heal and you will start enjoying S*x.