Relationships  Discussion Forum

HI friends...

I ve written in this forum with my problems and got wonderful solution and healing words
Now, i ve another problem and it is kind of related to the earlier problems.

Let me start from the begining...
Am a 26 years old female, I ve been married for 2 years. my \" Maika\" and Sasural\" are in the same city. for the first 7 months of married life we were in a joint family. Then we had to move abroad. we ve been living in another country(a non english speaking country) alone for the past 1year & 5 months. I had to leave my job and i am at home now, which i hate.
I got married to my parents family friend' s son. our parents knew each other for more than 25 years, in fact my father and my mil were related 5 generations back(so they are \" door ke\" relatives).
Yet after our marriage my inlaws were more like samthis and less as friends. my parents were ok with it.
a couple of months after our marriage when i said i wanted to visit my parents, my husband said just because we are in the same city it doesnt mean you can go and stay with them, you can go once in a year or so. ofcourse i did manage to go a couple of time befor i went abroad.
Then we moved abroad, there were small issues but i never made an issue out of anyone.i dont want to discuss those things either. Slowly i made my husband realize about my feelings. Now he is at a situation where he trusts me and never says no anything i say, of course i dont take undue advantage of this.
After 5 months of staying abroad we visited india, and then also i got to stay for 2 days at my place, as we had lots visa related work.
1 year after the first visit we visited again for 5 weeks, this time i went 3 weeks before (my hubby was going on a office trip,so i went to india early) then my hubby came for 2 weeks.
As soon as i went to india my inlaws called me and asked me to stay with them, and said they will leave me at my parents place 3 days before my hubby comes and asked me to come back when my hubby comes back. which means i would get 3 days and may be 1 day with my hubby (they dont allow my hubby to stay more than one night).

So when me and my parents went to their place, my mom was so upset she did not speak to anyone and started crying. my mil shouted at her (\" take your daughter with you\" ) that too in public place( at car parking)
sad daughter replied. HI friends..my computer hung while i was typing and only half of my msg appeared..and therem is some problem with the net..so am unable to post complete msg..

shorttly the full story will appear
Thanks for ur posts..
Please do post after reading the whole thing..

Sad daughter.. Srey replied. Seem to me that you are just stuck in the middle. Almost like a tug of war, game.

Stand up for what you want to do. Are you afraid to say \" No\" to them?

If I were you, I would:

1.5 week stay at my parents house(Alone)
1.5 week stay at my In laws place(Alone)
1 week (you) and your (husband) stay at your Parents place
1 week (you) and your (husband) stay at you MIL place.

Problem solved, right? Because everyone gets equal share for visitation. Ritika replied. Your subject line is about asking for medical treatment and your post is about not being able to stay with yr parents. I' m confused as to what yr question or point is.

As far as staying with parents is concerned, if I were you, I would go ahead and stay with my parents for 3 weeks as originally decided by you.

Yr in-laws are rude and offensive to both you and yr parents (who also happen to be old friends of theirs). The more you bend now and cry in front of them, the more they' ll pressurize you unnecessarily.

How much you follow their commands blindly will decide how much they' ll expect in future also. So do only as much as you are comfortable with. Go and have a nice time at yr parents place and when yr husband comes, you could go and join them...

My 2 cents.