Relationships  Discussion Forum

Not sure if my problem is even worth discussion. But i am loosing my mind over it.
I have a good husband and a nice smooth life. I only get irritated every time i interact with my husbands sister. She is very interfering. She doesnt leave a chance to comment on anything i do or tell me how to do things. I have even observed that she is nicer in my husbands presence and anything that she wants to say she says it when i am alone. I get very irritaed in her presence. Shes is one kind of person who cannot keep their mouth shut....its like whatever me and mny husband do is her business. She comments on how i should treat my in laws and the irony is that she doesnt get along with her in laws at all...so much so that she neevr goes to even visit them when shes in india (SIL lives in USA). I empathize with her issues but its annoying when she interferes in my life.
When i was newly married here and i sincerely liked her and would publicly appreciate her for anything and everything. But slowly observed that she never had anything nice to say about me. For eg, shes a singer and i have alwasy praised her for that, so much so that in USA i have had my frinds hear her songs that i had recorded of hers...I am a Kathak dancer and do run classes and perform when i get a chance here. But i never saw that same respect in her behaviour. Somehow shes always outstanding. Not sure even if i am in a competition but its like i have realised that shes not a person i would like to interact with since its never nice and pleasant.
I can undestand my hubbys brotherly love for her but i feel i dont want to talk too much to her. Like hubby will ask me to call her and i really dont feel like it. Also we have her pictures framed in my house and i really feel like taking them off...My husband lived here 10 yrs before we got married so its naural for him to have pics of his family all over but noww....i really feel like taking them off and putting our pics. After all we have little place to keep his pics and mine as well. Our house will look like a museum then.

Pls ammas if you think i am silly say so....I just want to know how to behave. I belive i am a good daughter in law but maybe everyone thinks they are gods gidt to this earth.

I just need advice on your views. I mean how to interact with unpleasant people especially when shes your sister in law.

Waiting for your response.


Friend replied. Hi Shalia,

I can very much say that I am in the same situation that you are in.... probably worse.. and my SIL is crazier than yours. My husband was her baby brother and she still feels the same way about him. I live at an hours distance from her.... and believe me, I have to see her face almost every weekend.... She expects the whole world to be at her feet.. and does not get along or appreciate anything that someone does for her. Good part is I can communicate my feelings to my husband and inlaws, who completely understands me. But, again, the best thing I think to do (and I have come to this conclusion after going thru a lot of hell for 2 yrs). that its just good to ignore... ignore as much as possible and get involved in your own life. U got to irnore the thorns in life and move ahead with the roses.... :)

advisor replied. Hi,
A relationship with husband's sister most of the time is very difficult. Very rarely you'll find one,with whom you'll get along well. If you get along well,you'll not have any problems with your in-laws. SIS-IN-LAWS act as a bridge in your relatonship between ur life(husband&you) and in-laws.

You have let your sis-in-law get carried away because of her talent by praising her. Bring her back to earth. Keep a distance from now on and make her realise that her unsolicited advise is not needed. Let her know that you are an adult and can handle your marriage very well. The next time she advises you on something ask her immediately if she follows the same. Most of the time you'll see that it is just talk . She won't follow her own advise.
SO do whatever makes you happy. If you don't want her pictures,remove them. If you feel that your husband will feel hurt by doing so,then move it to some place where you may not notice it everyday. This way both of you are happy. It is your house, you have a right to do and live the way you want.

In the end,i just have to say that these things are very trival but somethings though trival is hard to be ignored. The best all of us can do is just involve ourselves into some activity(career,etc..)and don't let these problems effect us. We have just one life to lead and there is much more to enjoy than to brood. So take good care of yourself and your husband. In the end this is one relationship that only matters. SAM replied. Dear Shaila
Its very obvious to get irritation, but cool down!
U said she lives in USA, then its a very far distance yaar! Dont give any importance to her nokzok, just ingnore her comments, n very importantly dont expect anything (appreciation etc) any time from ur in laws becoz u will just get frustration n nothing else. If ur husband wont force u to follow any insturctions of your SIL or compare with her then just concentrate on your career and be happy with your good husband. Be careful becoz u only compare yourself with her and feels a little inferior?
Take care.
Bye
SAM