Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have been married almost 10 years now and knew my husband for 6 years before that...love marriage. Before getting married we had indulged in physical contact and were comfortable with each other...slowly the charm died and when we got married it was almost dead. Our honeymoon too was dry. Things have been very bad in terms of sex all through. I am very romantic and he doesn' t care about romance too much. I have always wanted attention physically but he is over sensitive about small issues and cannot perform, if he is thinking about it. Distraction has been a major issue but now he refuses to even indulge in sex saying that he is just not interested. He is not very successful professionally but has a family business so doesn' t need to worry at all. He is over sensitive and has been into depression lately and is also seeing a doc. But we' ve been married long and we have never had a physical relationship. I had a baby 1.6 years back thru IUI process because wanted some sort of bond between us. He loves me and my daughter but why doesn' t he feel confident sexually. He gets upset if I talk about it so I don' t talk to restore peace. However, I am very upset and feel lost in life. Will I need to live without it ? Ashwini replied. I can understand and I am sure you must have understood him throughout these 10 years of marriage. You both love each other, and there lies the solution for every problem.

You said, he runs a family business. Talk to him daily abuot how was his day, is he facing any problem in the business which is upsetting him? In business, there are always ups and downs, so try to understand his other side as well. Show interest in his routine and HIM.

If he is not feeling confident, assure him that YOU will help him in performing. and till then, YOU dont lose your confidence and patience. Don' t give any facial expression of dissatisfaction too, while in bed. If you show signs of discontent, he will again feel bad about himself, which will inturn reduce his interest more.

I know, its difficult, but You have to get him back in shape. Make him confident, and till then you be firm.
Namita replied. i know this is a difficult situation but try to understand him.... sex is not everything in life ... good that he loves u ... the reason for loss of interest in sex is clearly seen .. he is stressed and depressed, help him to come out of it and everything will b solved ... dnt speak to him abt. sex he will get more depressed taht he is not providing u what u want n not able to make u happy ... help him to come out of depression is the only solution