Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hello everybody,
Iam married 6 years,met my huband 10yrs back ,love marriage.Before falling only I know that my husband had very emotional relation when he was in college.Their affair was very popular.And i think relation went to that extent ...like it happens in a college(iam talking about physical contact).

Recently i came across a mail from that lady wishing my hubby on his bday and a casual pass on msg.My husband hasnt checked them.I deleted them without his knowledge.Not really to be worried of.But somehow this disturbes me.When our last visit to India he told me he is going to contact this lady also.I believe she is also a decent one.But why a mail....after so many years...(my husband has got a bunch of hand drwn greetings from that lady..which my hubby carefully preserved).My hubby bday and her bday are very close.She sent bday wishes on my her bday.

Its disturbing ladies.I dont want to ask my hubby about this.And creating a topic which never occured.Please advise with some encouraging mails. Sanjee replied. I think what ' Sister' is saying really makes sense. Your husband should forget about his past and move on. If he cherishes the hand written stuff that his ex had given him, he is obviously not completely over her.

You should confront him and tell him that x,y,z makes you uncomfortable and this happened before he met you so why does she and him have to drag you into all this. Again, it depends how openly you can speak to your husband about all this...i.e. his reaction. If he is a calm, reasonable person he will make sense of what you are talking about.

I just have one question...if your husband felt so strongly for this woman why did he not marry her? Namita replied. good suggetion from sister .... but it depends what is ur husbands nature .. he sud not feel bad or shout on u for checking his mail(infact every wife and husband have that right) ... if he is not so fussy then the suggetion given by sister is good and show him that u got hurt with this mail. Sister replied. U have been married for 6 long years.See geeta as a wife u have certain commitment towards ur husband & in the same way ur husband has some commitment towards u.The first of such is that he should not even think of other women.There will be many crushes in life.But we canot have their memories with us all through.
In my case what happened is....my husband had a friend & that friend has a younger sister.Some years back that family thought ki,that sister can marry my husband & things did not work out.That woman got married & she has a baby also now.Recently when I checked my husband' s mail I saw that she has sent a photo of hers to my husband.I directly asked my husband what will he do if I start contacting all men who were seen for my marriage & gave him 3 options...block her mail ID so that she cant mail u,or 2.mail her & ask her to stop these things,or 3.I shall call her maternal house & tell them what their daughter is doing even after marriage.My husband just blocked her ID.
See,we as wives have to take a stand some times.U cannt let this continue.Talk to him with no emotions.Dont cry & nag him.But I feel u should see to it that they stop this.Y should she contact ur husband after so long & y should u bear it???? Think abt it.