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Hi,I need a solution for my problem,for which I couldn' t get a clear idea of solving it.My in-laws came for my first delivery(one week before my due).They didn' t treat me like a pregnant lady.They wanted me take care of them ,by ignoring myself.My mil used to do the cooking and I have to do all other work like cutting the vegetables,cleaning the vessels,laundry,cleaning the restroom,vacuum the home,folding the washed clothes.After completing the work I cant take some rest or sleep.She will ask me to sit with her and talk repeatedly the same story.This happened even after the delivery.During night I used to wake quiet often to feed the baby.I couldn' t get complete rest or sleep.I had problem in breastfeeding the baby.My mil didn' t help me or suggest me anything to overcome it.I had to give the baby formula without my whole heart.I felt guilty for not feeding my baby.Now I read more abpout those issues and have learned how to handle it.But the time when I had the problem no one helped me.I was wondering how I got that problem when I was healthy.

My mil used to tell me often that I had no milk to feed the baby.When I tried to express milk using the breastpump(it would be hardly 1 ounce),my mil used to say \" only this much?\" .I felt helpless.
After trying often, I could express more that 4 ounce.But my mil asked me to throw away the milk saying it is old and not to be given to the baby.I really had hard time after delivery.
Even my husband was not supporting me.He started beleiving that I had no milk to give to the baby.
Now my in-laws will be again coming for my second delivery .I dont know how to handle the situation.Please help me.
yyyy replied. I too faced the same problem in my first pregnanacy but I do not have any parents. So all through my delivery+pregnancy I did not have the support of my parents but lots of emotional problems from my inlaws. When I became pregnant for the second time, I managed on my own as I was in Dubai and away from my parents. My ILS wanted to come on the pretext of helping me. I revolted with my husband against it. My pregnanacy+delivery was a bliss. When you are emotionally steady things will work out smoothly. To keep their daughter mentally peaceful during her pregnanacy is the role of her parents. Unfortunately I did not have this blessing but God has blessed me with a loving and understanding husband.

So mmn, do not worry and keep such painful ILS at bay. Cheers. Swapna replied. Hi

Lots of hugs your way. I can feel how you want to avoid ILs after delivery. Luckily I had my mom come in ,otherwise I would have never gotten out of post partum depression. I slipped into PPD co of bfing problems. I had supply and latching issues and I cried everytime I nursed. Instead of creating a bond ,bfing only made me more depressed. I hated nursing the whole time and wanted to throw my baby and the pump outta the freaking window. So bad was my case ,until I met a lactation consulatant. She suggested remedies and corrected the latch but still I was in tons of pain. So I hauled out the bottle and felt much better. Now we are a happy baby and mom. So my point is don' t beat yourself if you can' t nurse. You' ve tried and it didnt work. A happy mom makes a happy baby and don' t let the guilt take the better of you.
If it were, who had ILs coming for delivery ,I would threaten to go to India and have the baby at my parents. Can you do that? Can you have a one on one talk with your dh and say how you want your parents to be b your side?
I only have this much to say. All the best to you Lakshmi replied. Hi
I also had the same problem. My MIL never care about whether I am feeding her or not. She' ll be always with the TV and nothing else. Even when I was having engorgement problem and I told her , she said she dont know anything and went back to TV. I cried the whole day and suffered like anything . I have to go back to work by 2 month. I managed somehow. My MIL got the visa told his son that they want to come and hold my parents visa . and during last minute refused to come saying that they need to fix alliance for her daughter. After c-section I have handled alone for one month over my husband' s torture and tension. he' ll help me but always scolding me and degrage as if I am nothing . I too agree that \" ILS are guests and never be hosts \" . Wait for them to get out . My ILS told my relatives and my paretns a 2 hour complaint. Donot show her the milk
Feed the baby in the room . my MIL always used to say you have more milk but my daughter didnot have milk repeatedly. What to do. This is our fate to handle these husbands and ILs.
proud mom replied. I had my inlaws for my first delivery and had to go through a lot like you all. So for the second one I decided to go on my own. I was a little scared. But you know what I managed beautifully. When you don' t have any tension things are so much easier. Also if u don' t have anyone with you all ur friends will help (sympathy factor). Again you are also much experienced dealing with babies. Whatever little help you will get from ur inlaws is not worth the torture tehy will put u through. My baby had sufficient milk as I was also much relaxed. Also since I managed on my own my mil could not impose her way of doing things on me when I visited them as the baby was already used to being with me. Anyway, if you cannot avoid bringing them over try to be firm about how u want to feed the baby. After all you will what is best for ur baby. It is ok to formula feed the baby till ur milk supply is regular as long as u pump regularly. I would give similac to the baby and then pump so that my milk supply will improve and the baby will not go hungry. Once my milk was regular (within one week of delivery) I stopped formula. Let me know if you need any tips. mom replied. why are u inviting the inlaws? can you instead call in your parents?
try and avoid inlaws, they are always guests and never become hosts.

if parents cannot come, stay alone, pay for a maid and manage, but avoid inlaws ..

and about the breastmilk .. its all in your mind. Dont let their talks impact ur mind. Keep telling urself, keep thinking that they are wrong and u hv enough milk.

I had a same story, and in my second pregnancy, i had decided i will feed my baby and nothing can impact my milk.

History repeated, but my milk was sufficient. Feeding the baby still, she is 1.5 yr old! rajo replied. my MIL came over for my delivery although I did not want it knowing her mentality,but you know how it is with these ILs they just do what they please.
although i used to feed the baby she used to comment on the quantity of milk which is filled in the breast cup from the other breast .exactly those words that you mentioned' only this much' and she would tell anybody and everybody that the baby keeps waking up in the night every 2-3 years for feeds (as a matter of fact which is what most young babies do)because there is not enough
milk.she would say this atleast 20 times everyday for the 2 months that she was with us. i have made a firm decision that no matter what happens if at all i get pregnant again i will never have mil with me during or after delivery. you won' t believe she had come to my delivery and even there she had a few hurtful comments to make ,and because of the pain i told her to please keep quite and even to this day she accuses me of it!
just be assertive and tell your husband that you don' t her with you during or after the delivery