Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi,

im quite a regular reader of this board and posted my message few days back also relating to my problem.i have a same problem now also.im really very upset related to my SIL.

girls i ried my best to ignore her,and just dont mind what she says..but now its getting into my nerves.
The thing is my SIL has 2 daughters.Now my MIL sometimes discusses with me that i should have a son now and pray this god and that god so that im blessed with son.its ok i understand she wants to have a grandson but these all are not in my hands..its god wish with what he blesses me.this irritaes me.my SIL is quite dissapointed with 2nd daughter which she tells my MIL.i dont understand y?
second my SIL is very taunting and always interested in my hubby and my life.she keeps on asking small small things happening in our house which is of no interest to her.
Then when she was here,once me and my hubby were sitting closely in our bedroom and didnt realize she will come suddenly.when she came in she got angry on us that both are getting very intimate and some other foolish remarks.at that time i felt very angry as to who is she to tell us what we do.me and my husband have own privacy,she should be more careful and knock will entering my room.
My MIL keeps on praising her daughter on small things also but for me praise comes so less.
i told my hubby so many times that in front of him MIL and SIL keep quite and sweet but when he is not around then both pass remarks on me.
Then she is having some problems in her sasural also which she tells my MIL only and then MIL gets worried for her.
what i mean is she is a constant tension on my mind.NOW i dont like her a bit because of her behavior and poisoning my MIL mind.she has nothing to do except talking rubbish and critising her sasural as well as sometimes me.
i was never like this before.i want to remain happy and out of gossip,but seeing all this even my mind gets disturbed.there have been lots of incidents which i cannot discribe as of now.im very upset..cannot find a solution.this relationship is such i have to maintain lifelong.plez help or suggest what to do.
love replied. hi,

few who read my message are right in saying and i agree but the thing is i stay with my in-laws and i cannot shout and fight with her because whatever good impression i have made in his house with in-laws will get bitter.after all she is daughter of the house.
basically she is a nut.the only solution is to ignore her.i know she is frustated issues related to her sasural.she has no standing in both houses so unnecessarily wants to gain importance.

thanks love replied. hi girls thanks for replying.the thing is when my SIL came into our room and passed foolish remarks my husband did say things to her but in a soft manner because he is not rude though he did get irritated but because he didnt want to exxarate the topic we didnt go further.
see girl the point is not what we say,the point is she should herself realize what she is doing.she is married with 2 kids,elder to my hubby,i mean why should she even bother about our married life.
Radhika i agree with u even i felt she is immature and childish,very frustated with her sasural and is still not accepted that she is no more a part of this family after marriage in terms of involvement.

and about my MIL i must say she is good to me but she herself is very upset with her daughter stubbrn and angry nature.she sometimes dosent like her talks but dosent want to get insulted anymore.My SIL has done this infront of me also..shouting and answering her mom back.
and my MIL knows its my hubby is responsible to give me a boy.only thing is because she sees her daughter facing difficulties with her own daughters as well as be havior of her own daughter like this she herself feels that my hubby is more respectful and obediant son...so she thinks sons are better(thats what i feel and sometimes she told me also).this is all pychological.my MIL herself knows her daughter nature but what to do BLOOD IS BLOOD she stills feels for her.
Radhika replied. Hi:
She is an immature girl who just wants to interfere in everything...but Didn' t your hubby object on her coming in your bedroom without knocking and upon that didnt he say anything to her when she was yelling at you??? If not, take him in confidence and tell him that it has hurt you. Tell him that you need his attention and love which is not possible in public(your ILs). Your bedroom is the only place where you can be so close right?? :) and at least there you both need privacy.

If your MIL again says about having grandson, just say \" it depends on your son\" and give her a BIG BIG smile... she will understand... and also remind her again and again that her daughter is disturbing you both... :) by popping in your bedroom :)

Dont worry dear, all these things are a part and parcel of married life :)

Ritika replied. One question - When your SIL comes inside your bedroom unannounced and has the audacity to start getting angry with both your hubby and you and scolds you on top of that..what in the world are you doing?? Do you not reply to her?? as to the fact that you guys happen to be married (just in case she is forgetting) and she should knock before she enters the bedroom. Why are you keeping quiet??!!

Once your SIl gets a taste of her own medicine she' ll think twice abt shouting at you.

As for your MIL, ask your husband to tell his mother that SIL is stepping out of her bounds and can she please ask her not to do that?!!

As for yr MIL' s wish for a grandson, have you told her how you feel on this issue..and that it does not matter whether you have a girl or a boy? Have you told her that it is the husband' s chromosome that is going to decide the gender of the child and not any god?

Keeping quiet all the time is no solution.

Chamel replied. hi

Don' t worry.

See you can' t change her attitude.So may be u got to change urself.When she is in your home,when u enter the bedroom, latch it.Such girls will not be happy and will not let others be happy.I have gone thro' so much of this.I fuond it difficult to ignore her.It comes only by practice.But once you are able to ignore then you can really enjoy the scene.Since being ignored she will want to try something new and more.By this every one in the family will think she' s behaving odd.You can enjoy.I assure you it will be excellent.It gives u a taste of success.Practice ignoring.