Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hello everyone!!
This is my first time in message board.After reading all the problems ,i found ,that this is the right place where i can share and discuss my problem with all of you.
I m happily married and leaving abroad with my husband. We r happy here.I have the problem related with my in-laws.We married 1 1/2 years back in India. Before marriage i worked in the same city where my In-laws reside. That time i was living in Hostel room because my parents house in in a different city,that is very far.Then I engaged and my husband was in US at that time .And after marriage it was decided that i'll leave my job and will come with my husband here.So my MIL wanted that to keep me with her in there place before marriage.That time She was very nice. Even i found that She is the best MIL and i am very lucky.I lived there about 5 months before marriage ,simultaneously i was doing my job. I had a very tight schedule(7-7).And my MIL is a teacher in public school.So there is not much time for understanding to each other.I don't know She is really very good or just pretending.
My husband had came to India for marriage on one month vacation. Now the actual problem happend.After marriage my in laws complaining about the money and gifts are not enough .They want more money aur we simply can say it \";dowary\";.They said that my parents did not give as much as they wanted.The reality is that ,I belong to a very middle class family,and my husband's family is in better finencial position.But my father told his financial situation in adavnce.My in laws were agreed at that time .But After marriage they a creating many problems. They even didn't like my parents.They never asked me about my parents .Even they didn't give a single call to my parents till now.
My husband are two brothers.There is 10 yeras age difference between them.And my MIL loves my husband very much more than the younger one .She tells this thing that I have only one boy. She is very pocessive about her elder son.And My husband respect her a lot.He do everything what she said.
This year we went to india on vacation ,that was the worst time of my life.My MIL do everything about my husband.Even she don't want to go him anywhere.At that time i feel very much lonly.I couldnot talk to him during this period.Now she treated me like a slave.She wants,i should do whatever she wants. she don't want to send me and his son at my parents house.This is not right..I went india first time after marriage ,So my parents also expected that i'll meet them .but MIL dont want to send me there.So I told this problem to my husband,but he couldnot do anything.then my father came and requesthing her .Then she agreed.
She expected phone calls on every sunday from here.And she always told bad words to him for my parents .That's why my husband's behaviour is being changed for my parents.He don't talk to my parents .This is really a worse situation.
I m very confused ,what should i do?Let me know.
HARJ replied. Dear Arti,

I am sorry to hear about your situation and understand your feelings of frustration and dissapointment in your IL. I feel your in-laws are not treating you with respect and are trying to put you down by pestering you about your dowry and your family. I think the only way you can change this situation is to try to build up your own self-confidence so that you can try to beat the negative things thay are saying to you. Dont be ashamed of your family just because your IN LAWS are putting them down. Try to get your husband on your side,try to cut down his calls back home if all they are going to be is negative. I think the best thing is to forget about your IN-LAWS until your next trip to India and hopefully you will handle the situation better.