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Womens Issues:Plz help

2007-08-17

Name: Simran I regularly read this board..Today I need some support. I am 24 yrs and married for close 4 months now Initially after I met my hubby I felt like the most luckiest to have got a very bright, smart & caring husband. He is a winner in every thing he does. I am an avg girl with good looks and good family background. Hamara affair about 2.5 years take chala and after that we get married Later, as we got to know each other..I was not happy with a few of his habits which I raised objections to & he seems to be having this superiority complex & refers me as a looser anytime we have an argument, and woh saari baaton ke liye mujhe blame kar dete hain I am also a working womes but he does not like this he told me a number of times to leave the job. But i dont want to cut my hands by leaving the job at least i dont want to be financial dependent.since he is very highly paid he looks down upon me..

he never understands what my needs are (emotionally .. . otherwise he takes care of my other needs). It is very clear from his behaviour that he is very much dissatisfied with me but i didnt said this clearly.he always said that he wants to live with me even i also want this but woh chahte hain ki main unke sath bhi rahun and unke rules and regulations follow karun aur woh main try krti bhi hun but hamesha aisa nahi hota na. kabhi kabhi mujhe bahut suffocating sa feel hota hai. aur main unke temperament se bahut pareshan hun jab woh gusse mein hote hain to kuchh dhyan nahi rakhte.....shaadi ke bad 2 months mein woh mujhe 2 baar maar bhi chuke hain.

Someone plz... advice me what would i do...

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2007-08-17

#21

Name: vikram
Subject:

hi i m vikram and my behaviour with my wife was same as u describe but i never rais hand on my wife it is a weekness of a hubby who rais hand on his wife but when time passed and i became father of a girl child my behaviour changed and i started to take care of my wife emotionally as well as physicalli and she is happy now just tell ur hubby that to rais hand on his wife is weekness not the strength of a husband our is not a society that we change our wife /husband regularly so take care and ur hubby will be urs as time passed and remember never think of quit ur job u are having golden hands
thax take care and be happy

2007-08-17

#22

Name: XYZ
Subject:

same message " unhappy couple

why are you pasting same message again and again ..... you pasted under heading of \" unhappy couple\" b dated 10.08.07... is your problem genuine or fake just to gain sympathy
XYZ

2007-08-17

#23

Name: Simran
Subject:

Not a same messeage

No i am not passing the same message its just a coincidence....and my problem is genuine and i dont want anybodys sympathy i am in tension and need a solution to save my maariage thats why i search this site and seek for help....and i want to tell you again that i dont want anybodys sympathy...............

2007-08-17

#24

Name: love
Subject:

be bold and strong

hi,

while reading your message i didnt understand one thing...u did a love marriage having a affair for almost 2.5 years,that time u didnt understand his temprament?i had a arranged marriage for last 2.5yrs and by now i know my hubby nature as well as likes and dislikes well.
i know when u r in affair things are different than living together but still u should know how he was...
anyways like u say he beats u and even gets angry at you then u should not take it lightly.do u have any self-respect in you.?i think he knows that now as u r dependent on him as well as become his wife...he is taking u for granted.till the time u had affair u have insecurities like parents will agree with marriage or fear of loosing each other and getting heartbroken.

anyways dear marriage is very different from love affairs.its a life long committment which involvs lots of responsibilities and with time responsibilities will increase not decrease.u have only completed 4 months and problems have started.please try to communicate with your husband as to how u both should spend reat of your life happily and peacefully.maybe now he expects more from you as a ife than he has expected as a girlfriend which u r not able to fulfill.he has married you after affair means he definately loved u.u were not a time pass.now please mature enough to handle things.
yes but please dont take his hitting and physical abuse.speak up.try to show that u are also something so that he also feels proud to be your hubby.maybe u have potrait yourself ver timid and weak to him so he takes advantage of this.

what i thought i said,rest is upto you.

best of luck...

2007-08-17

#25

Name: Simran
Subject:

plz....help

Hi,

Aj fir hum logon ka jhagda hua. I sent a greeting to him with a msg.....

" I love you jan.......pataa nahi hum logon mein clashes kyun badte ja rahe hain but main itna janti hun ki ye hum dono ke liye hi achhe nahi hain kya hum fir se pehle ki tarah nahi reh sakte.. pehle hum dono ki baatein kitni milti thi ,hamare thoughts aur feelings kitne milte the. par ab ye kya hota ja raha hai main nahi chahti ki aisa ho and i am very sure ke aap bhi aisa nahi chahte.......kya sab kuchh pehle jaisa nahi ho sakta kya hum ek dusre ki galtiyon ko avoid nahi kar sakte........

love u and need u always

Only Yours"

and was expecting that he will be happy but i was wrong. he called me up and said that don´ t you have time to call me when i said that main call karne hi wali wali thi then he replied very rudely " main nahi manta" and mujhe kehne lage ki is tarah se tum clashes ko khatm nahi kar sakti.

i dont know main kya karun.......is relation ko lekar main bilkul hopeless hoti ja rahi hun.plz will someone help me to save my relation.

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