Relationships  Discussion Forum

Friends, I am married for more than 20 years and have two grown up children. Our relation was good up to 12 years. Later I found him loosing interest in me. Now a days really I feel he has no interest in me and more interested in being outside. Though he says he loves me, I have not seen anything like in his eyes or actions. Now I feel like going away from the place and have my own life. I feel a separation may help to bring some solution. Is it right to take such a step? It is very difficult to remain in a loveless marriage. Please advice. I am
educated and in a postion to take care of myself. Chameli replied. Hi

Why don' t u ask him about if he has some interest outside.Have u for long feeling this way or only recently.Best thing is talk to him and try to get the reason.I think thats best.Prepare before hand & make it clear about what u expect him to do. abb replied. Meenakshi and Chameli,

Thanks for your advice.
By separation I meant living somewhere else, with some other pretext, away from my family or with my children. Living under the same roof with my husband is really heart breaking for me. Because he always behaves exactly opposite to what I want ( as a wife) even though he knows what I want. Rarely we have sex, once in a month or less. He never takes initiative. ( I am quite good looking and fit) I really wonder what is he upto, or what he wants? I feel he has some interest outside. Otherwise, he is a sober, loving and responsible towards my children. Even he takes care of all my material needs. He likes to talk with me and enjoys my company. Even all our friends consider our family a happy one. I am sure in my absence also he will take care of my children. I never intend to marry again or to separate myself from my children. Kids sense the tension between us, but never made any comments or takes side of any. A break up will definitely affect them. But I don' t know how I console myself or to control my pain ( I feel I am not loved). I became very moody and depressed. I became a burning candly. I don' t know what to do. Meenakshi replied. Hello

If u r interested to break yr marriage then what to do. But after breaking yr marriage what will be yr next plan. think abt it also. Whether u r going to marriage again, if u marriage then whether yr children support u. if u marriage whether yr future husband' s nature will be as per yr expectation as u think, if yr children will not support u, can u tolerate. or

If u talk abt yr separation what will be yr status in yr house.

So in my opinion u stay separatly without breaking yr marriage. This will help u to take decision that whether yr husband or children love u or not, or whether u r loving them or not, then u can take decision after analysing it.

Marriage means it is one type of adjustments. So if there is some problem which can not tolerate then only one can think abt separation.
Chameli replied. hi
Mam,
U haven' t said anything about ur husband' s attitude towards your children.What about ur children?Will they support you if u walk out.If they don' t support then there is always the risk of them blaming you.If u r leaving ur husband u will be looking for ur children' s love.isn' t it?