Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi

im quite a regular reader of this board,and thought of placing my problem here as people give good advise.

i have good in-laws till now(touchwood).its been 2.5 yrs of marriage so i have got adjusted in family now.the thing is i have very cunning SIL(hubby sis).She still keeps on taking out mistakes in whatever i do.otherwise she is ok,but really tries to behave like a grandmother sometimes.i dont like this.she is married so should mind her own business.whenever im away or out for some time to my om place she will talk for hours on phone with my hubby discussing her own family problems with him.she tries to become an object of pity and gain sympathese from my inlaws as well as my hubby.i understand she might be having problems but im also a part of this family and should know whatever is happening.she knows whatever is happening in our house cause my MIL discusses with her.my hubby tells me lot of things...but sometimes hides also.i dont mind,but she thinks im a outsider.

Believe me..all my in laws side relatives appreaciate me now..so my in laws are happy.they are ok...the only problem is SIL.by god grace she has been married to a well off family,im not jealous of her but she is jealous of everyone who she dosent like.thoughher disliking for me has reduced but still i dont feel nice when she is around.what should i do to tackle her.she dosent live with us,but always craves for importance.my hubby is not able to understand that his sis is jealous... xxx replied. thanks for ur suggestion.most of them i have tried.

and ritika,the thing is im not interested in her problems...but yes i have always seen her discussing probs specially with my hubby when im away(mom place etc).thats what makes me feel like she thinks im outsider so whenever im not with hubby she can chat much better.my hubby tells me thats other thing.she also asks him and our personel life with him when im not around.what does this show.

basically she is quite frustated with her own life so she wants the whole world to sympathsis with her.giving her own tensions to others rather than tackling herself...and when everything is fine here she gets jealous as if she is only one upset..she should feel happy that her parents and brother are happy instead she feels that she has landed up in a wrong sasural...stupid lady.

thanks. Ritika replied. I' m confused about your problem.

Is it because of your SIL is not telling you about her problems? Or is because she behaves like a \" grandmother\" (by which I understand bossy..correct me if I am wrong)?

If it is the first - then my question is...Why do you want to know soo much about what' s happening in her life? By your own admission, she is having problems in her life. So maybe she feels more comfortable venting it to her parents and brother.

And it doesn' t seem as if she' s a great friend of yours. So why in the world do you think she \" should\" call you and tell you her problems?

If it is the second, then whenever she tries to boss you around..just smile and say \" sorry, but I dont want to do it\" or \" I would rather do this other thing\" or \" hey, feel free to do your thing..just dont force me..I' m not upto it\" etc etc...

Does this answer your question? Laxmi replied. hi..
Your problem is 70% ladies problem who all are having SIL. May be not all but most of SIL act the same, caz of the possesive nature of girls. Till u entered the scene she was the centre of attraction for the family now she must be trying to keep her place. I would suggest you one thing start ignoring her. Dont ask about her to you IL or your hubby. If you happen to meet her just talk well and dont discuss anything which they are hiding and make them understand ur least interested in her matters and dont discuss directly with her any of your personal..if your MIL is discussing dont stop her, she may thing after all iam talking to my daughter. But you keep her away from you..dont get hurt for all this thing, it will ruin your relation ship with ur hubby and in-laws. Take it light and carry on...

Good Luck.
Laxmi