Relationships  Discussion Forum

I'm engaged to marry a 25 yr old young man. We plan to marry next year, but I'm afraid to get married because he is a mamma's boy. He wants \";US\"; to move in and live in his mothers house. Ever since we got engaged, I feel like I'm 2nd place in his heart, and he has replaced me with his mother sa 1st place.
I do not know what to do. I'm very sad and upset because we have beed dating for 10 years, and we have waited so long to get married, but until recently there seems to this \";NEW\"; obstical (HIS MOTHER) that is coming between our relationship.

I need advice and help on :
What can I do to \";GET RIDE OF THIS OBSTICAL\";.
I am determined to fight and keep my fiance, but I'm afraid that his mother is smarter that me, and she's very manipulative and deceiving - (She fit's the typical mother-in-law profile.... she's not going to let anyone take her son away).

please help me win...
redrose juvinile replied. I would strongly suggest you not to marry this person. This person doenst love you at all and his mother is always at first place in his heart. Just think of one thing, If you can leave your father and mother for this man and get married, why the hell can't he do the same???? Dont think that after marriage you will change this person and you will remove this obstacle, that is just impossible, and you will end up in a compromise and worried always.
Think coolly, this person was worth dating because there were no responsibilities then, but not at all for marrying because he cannot handle responsibilities.
I am myself a mama boy and that is why I can suggest you better. My wife hates my mother and after so many years of marriage I have not been able to resolve this issue. My wife is always worried and tense and my mother doesnt have any knowledge of all this. I think I have committed a grave mistake by marrying. becuase how hard I try to please her my mother is always there to interfere.

So even if you would try all the tricks and tactictics, they would be of no use since your man will always love his mother more than you.

Please use your brains and not heart for deciding. Marriage is a life long thing and decide cooly with all the pros and cons considered. Love is ok while dating. After mariage love is taken forgranted and actual thing that you see is compromise. Why do you want to do that?????????
xxx replied. There is no solution to removing the obstacle called mil once and for all. Its like the waste which builds up every day/week/month in your house that you dispose. Congrats for your boldness since you have determined to fight. You cannot physically throw this waste/obstacle/mil, but you can throw them from your mind. So each time you have a conflict with this waste/obstacle/mil appearing just strengthen your mind and throw it away from your mind. Whether you marry this person whom you like so much or you marry anybody else there is no guarantee that the other persons mil might not turn to be a waste/obstacle. If you cannot bear to live without him then get married but stay in a separate house without your mil. You are bound to your mil by law not by love. Laws can be broken. But very difficult to break the bond of love. Hope I have answered you.