Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hello all,

I wonder whether this NRI hubby' s bring thier wives only for household work to foreign countries. Because i have seen a lot and iam also one sort of.
They want us to clean home, cook wash and dry, do vessels for them but we should not spend money or time for ourselves.
if we do they will start to tell that we spend more or so and so,
iam not talking abt all, the ppl only fall under this cader
when this happens here like this, our MIL' s will brood there sitting in india that thier sons take only wife there and not them.
why this happens always to us?
even if we ask for a weekend out they blame us and tell they r too tired and want to rest the whole day.
Even we are not allowed to hire a taxi bcos it costs and we have to buy veggies also by train only even in rain.
ANd those stupid MIL' s think that we enjoy always.
what is the solution for all these and when it will end.
atleast there in india we had freedom since we were working and here since in as dependant we cant do so bcos of this stupid govt rule.
so sad for all homemakers Tanys replied. Hi Gauri,

I can understand ur problem.. felt bad when read rude comments of ppl. Life is much more than living in a A/C house or staying abroad. What matters the most in life is peace of mind and inner happiness.
I know it takes a lot to leave your job and deprive yourself of financial independance for the sake of happiness of ur husband. Still females do it because we always think of our hubby' s first. I think husbands shud also give a serious thought on what woman wants. If they are earning so much in US and cannot give li' l comfort to their wives then I guess whats a use of such money?
I think its better you change ur visa status and get into some job and then you' ll defibnately see a change in ur hubby' s attitude. It wuill boost ur self confidence as well.

Be strong and positive

All the Best! priya replied. Hi There,
I too lived outside India for 12 years and was a homemaker, the sole reason to look after my kids as I was against the idea of letting them in daycare. I understand how stressful it can be , especially if your husband doesnt appreciate you.
So, You stop bothering about appreciation from your hubby, it is your duty, after finishing it find a hobby like writing/reading/visit library/also try to look for a part time job for cash.In Canada, this works even if you are on not on a permanent visa, but wonder if it works in US. Find out.explore the possibilities.Or pursue further education or if you have skills like singing/dancing, try giving classes/take tuitions..all this can be done on a H4 visa..right?..This will help you financially too.Or as others say. try to cahnge your visa status and find a job.Dont be choosy, pick anything that comes your way and then try to get a better one.
Keep yourself happy and engaged positively.And first of all stop taking your MIL' s comments seriously.Just ignore.It must be easy as she is not living with you there. It is a bonus for you.
And also try to ignore the stupid comments which some people on this forum make. Take only what suits you and discard the rest.Hope this helps.Be cheerful and good luck. laxmi replied. Hi Gauri..

I understand your pain, that to being far from mother land you feel more frustated. Good Idea would be going to work, try to change your visa status and start going to work, half of your problems will be over.
Good Luck..
Laxmi rajo replied. I totally understand how you feel.The best way to get out of this situation is to try and see if you can find a job and get your visa status changed so that you can work if that is possible.then you will be busy with your work and will enjoy the time at home.if you earn money you will be able to spend it the way you like.also you will have less time to ponder or worry about what your MIL says.hope this helps,

regards,
Jyothi. Pappukangi replied. Please get back to me with your answers.

How long you are in USA?
Do you pay all bills or your husband takes care of it?
What state in USA are you at?
What was your expectation when you married NRI?
Did express yourself to your husband before getting married that you like to go out, be active. You hate doing laundry, cleaning dishes and house etc?
Did you ever think when you were in India that life in USA is better than India? If yes, you have no right to call your mother in law stupid.

Please get back to me with your answers to all the questions and I will give my input

Thanks,
Damn replied. Give divorce to your hubby & go back to india.Stopit with your stupid complians NALINI replied. Hi Gauri,

You are eating and sleeping well and balming the poor husband. You think In airconditioned atmosphere atleast you can DO ENJOYMENT WITH THE WONDERFULL INSTRUMENT YOU POSSESS AND YOUR HUSABND POSSES.

Especially in hot seasons love making is very difficult in India for middle class people as we are in sweating condition. Here middle class can PLAY THEIR COSTLESS GAME in A/c rooms.

SAY THANKS TO GOD FOR KEEPIN G YOU IN THIS PLACE. BE GRATEFUL TO GOD AND YOUR HUSBAND THAT YOU ARE HERE.

Chameli replied. Hi

I am a homemaker too.But i am in India.I think this is a pbm not only for NRIs.Most housewives do face this pbm.I am one.

Best part is ur MIL doesn' t visit u often.You know what happens to me.She comes here once in a while and i have to act a proper host.Cooking a good feast for them,then a drink.then a feast and then a drink then a feast.

They surely expect DIL to wait on them.Not even she will help me in arranging the table.Not even she will help herself with water from the jug.I have to stop my cooking and run to get her water.At the end of the day DH will want to spend half the night talking with mama & pappa.

Mostly i feel wretched at the end of the day.Still she thinks i enjoy sitting at home and spending her son' s money.As if he puts everything in my feet.And feeds the same idea to DH too.Whereas i spend whatever my parents give me when i visit them.' Coz anything i say i want to do will look like an utter waste to DH.