Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have a loving but very tough husband.

I am married for 8 years now and have 2 kids. We are living in abroad and am a working mom.
My husband is a good person with clean habits, helps me in house work too.

But I am not happy with the way how we are running our family : (
If some one sees us from outside they might think that we are so happy/ no problems...etc.

But, my very first problem/worry is he is not even thinking about saving.
Here I need to say one thing. About 4 years back he lost a whole lot of money in the share market.
And then he was out of job for the last 2 1/2 years and I was the only bread winner for the family.

Now that I got two kids I am really worried about our/kids future. No dollars are saved against their Education which is very expensive here. No separate money is saved for their or any other emergency expenses or for future.

Everything goes into one account (joint account on both of our names) and then all the payments are done from that joint account.
The sad part here is he is still interested in playing in the share market : (
Though we suffered a lot in this area (actually twice) and lost so much money (we lost almost everything we earned in the first 5 years) he is not coming out of that.

I talked to him about opening a separate savings account where I will make some portion of my salary goes in there automatically every month. He doesn't want that to happen.
He says if I do that there will not be enough money for our regular expenses. Kids school, house loan, car payments etc.

He just buys some times some items just like that without telling me. Sometimes he says why to spend that much for some items and doesn't buy it. I can't understand him. At times he does look like he is really cared about money. But other times he is not. Just spends money like that.

I don't know what to do. I am totally confused. While I am shopping around with so much care to save even few cents and a dollar, he is not even worrying about any savings which we should do for the kids.

What ever way I start, he shuts my mouth by saying, I will do, we will do. We will do.

The biggest question is WHEN?!

My mom says all the time that what we are doing is really not correct.
In fact she says the way I let him run the family from the beginnnig is wrong. I too feel that she is right. Now I can't take over it and he is not listening to me either. What to do?
I feel all my hard working and the sacrifice I do are going total waste.
He is nearing 40 and I feel we are already too late to start thinking about this.

I am really really scared and don't know what to do to convince him.

How to convince him? Please give me some suggestions. R T replied. Why dont you try to convince your husband to invest in something safer ? (like real estate in the US or in India). Take a big loan and buy a land/house that you expect will appreciate in value. Then all the excess money after household expenses would go towards repaying the loan. He wont have any money to \";play\";. When you really need the money, you can sell the land/house. Its your friend replied. Please let his close friends advice him by comparing their mode of savings. Some time guys will not listen to wife due to prestige issue... hifi replied. Hi
I agree with Monu.. u can start saving on your own with or without his knowledge. Start putting in small savings for the future. Monu replied. I think you can open your account and start saving in that account. Why do you need to convince him to open your account to save your money. Afterall it is for your future. I think you should go ahead and start saving ... and be strong !!!