Relationships  Discussion Forum

Dear everyone,
I am a mother of 2 kids (4 and 1 yr) who lives in USA. Since I got married about 8 years ago I am working.
I have no complaints about me working to support the family. But when I think of my/family's future, I am really worried and need some suggestions.

My in-laws are good people except doesn't want to spend even a single penny for us. But they are happy to give to the other son with whom they live in the same house.
Even when they came here twice so far, they didn't buy much stuff for my kids or my hubby. I don't mind this but it bothers me when they act very partially with the other son/dil and their kid.
After my second baby is born my MIL came with just 2 outfits for my both the kids! But the story is different when the other baby at India was born.
But by God's grace I have my parents who buys/loads us stuff, not only for my kids but for me and to my husband too.

OK, with all these, what really irritates is my husband's mentality. He is a 150% typical son who obeys their parents (esp. mom) to whatever she says/does.
I shouldn't say/mention anything even to him. He gets upset. It's OK, if they don't anything. Leave it/...blah,,blah.
But at the same time we always have bought tons of gifts to their parents and to his brother's family in our all India trips.

I am not asking/expecting them to payback and give gifts to whatever we gave. But not even a small stuff for the kids?!! Which really annoys me.

Anyway, if my husband continues to give everything like this and don't save anything for the kids, what's the support for my kids and my family.
My older one is already 4 and he didn't even started any kind of savings yet. Here the Education is really expensive and other expenditure too.
What's my future. Though I have worked all these years and earned right now we don't have anything, but he seems to be ok with that.
In fact he gets angry at me and doesn't want to talk about this topic at all. : (

How will make him understand enough of spending, start saving for our own life. Pls. give me some suggestions.




rupa replied. one step...have your separate account ...tell its for your kids ...in the event somethnig happens to you both ( make him feel you are with him )...get advice from an accountant and make sure your hubby has no accesss to the money what so ever ...you say you are is US and still have not figured how to deal with your hsband...stand for your kids and for your self girl !!! harj replied. I have the same situation as you. My husband is alway sending money , Presents to India. I would not mind if it was in relation to the amount he earns, but he ignores the needs of his own children. I feel what you will have to do is try to save money yourself. I have spent 7 years helping my husband to send money to INLaws in india and last year when I took my children their
I was treated very bad and told we do not send enough money. If you do not secure your childrens future no-one is going to do it for you. friend replied. The question about what they give to you is trivial because you live in US and you can afford better things than what would come from there. I am in same boat as you are so I can empathize with you.
What I have always worried about is what if I were to die then what would happen to my kids so yes I have started saving not as cash because every one sees the cash but as kind, like life insurance, house etc which not only has value but also makes my paycheck just enough to pay for it.
May be this will give you some ideas.