Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi there i m rani married to a person whome i was in love since 7 yrs.now i m married since 1 and half yr.
my husband is going in night shifts and i m working in day time.we hardly meet in a day.he is now off on weekdays only,so again we dont get full day for each other.
now a days i m very frustated and i feel very neglected as my husband is not giving me any of his time.he is either in office and when he is at home he prefers to sleep.he is not interested in talking 2 me.and from past two weeks i find that he is more interested in going 2 office.and bcoz of that we end up in fight and he hits me badely for that.
one fine day i got 2 know about a girl in his office.he is interested in that girl but he is telling that he did so coz his friends told him that u cannot flurt with a girl.he is telling that he is interested in that girl and wanted some company.so he used 2 call her often.i m really scared and feel very unsecured.although we had a love marriage but i dont know what has happened between us.
pls if anybody could suggest me something.i m really worriee.i now want 2 plan for a baby but if things go like this i dont know what is our future Chameli replied. May be u shud change ur job or shift.If u can' t do that just let go ur job and hold ur husband.What he' s doing(even if it is for friends) might get both ur lives to trouble.I don' t mean to frighten u.


May be he knows that this is for fun.But what is she thinking about the relationship.If she' s serious then he' s into real trouble.


Tell him to stop and also tell him otherwise u ' ll leave the job and keep company with him.May be when he knows u r this serious he might try and stop it. Manik replied. Rani,

I am glad that you are improving by the day.

I must appreciate your husband that he has been so open to you about his R(elationship) with that girl. Though I do not rule out the R to be an A yet, I do wish you bring down your level of suspicion on him and I am particularly concerned that he speaks over a speakerphone while he is with you! I strongly suggest that YOU tell him NOT to do so! Allow him his space and some privacy which SHALL not harm your R/M. You both need to develop higher level of mutual trust. With poor level of trust, non-existent problems also start surfacing. Of course you both do need to spend more time with each other too and you have been complaining of lack of time and hardly 15/20 mins together but you do get all those detailed info from him on that girl!!!??? Come on speak other more benign subjects too, attempt some love talks, do not just HAVE SEX but MAKE LOVE!

Let me ask you this: Does he doubt you to be in any R outside M? I really suggest that you increase your trust level and DEMONSTRATE that to him by asking him not to use speaker phone for his calls. And also do talk to him other subjects apart from that girl and what he did with her every other day. Maybe its just a friendly R and you have nothing to be alarmed about.

Do post again, I am looking forward for you and your husband to have a beautiful R again. Manik replied. Rani,

Sorry that you found yourself in this situation.

He hits you you said? Your situation is alarming enough to contemplate taking some action before situation goes out of control and beyond easy repair.

Have you kept your or his family informed? or any other close and confident friend of yours or a family friend? You need to do so, NOW and no later.

You need some cool time to talk discuss matters now. Try and ask him to take a day or two off from work and you also take off so that you do have some common and normal time to talk things out. Lack of communication can be the cancer to a love or marital relationship.

You need to figure out if 1. His work pressure is the cause of the present situation or 2. He feels your mariage or the relationhsip has lost fire or 3. He is already in a full blown extra marital afair with that girl in office.

Please do come back and post again, so that we underdstand the problem better before we take action to solv it.