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Hi all moms

I am a 27 year old working mother with a 2.5 year old son. My husband and I live in Bangalore while both our parents live elsewhere. I work in the s/w industry. I had taken a break when my son was born. I joined back when he was a year old and quit again in 4 months time bcos I couldnt manage. Then again after a year´ s break, I have now been working for the last 6 months. My son has started going to playschool this year. When he comes back from playschool, I have a maid who takes care of him till the evening. Also, my hubby´ s office is very close to our house and he goes home for lunch. The maid, as far as I know, is ok and my son looks quite happy with her. Now with all this, u would think I am quite happy with my life as it is.

But the problem is I have been feeling sriously depressed the last few days. I have been crying for every small thing and I dont even know how to stop it. I feel hopelessly guilty and terrible about not being able to be there for my son when he comes home from school, when he gets up from his afternoon nap and generally all those small things that working moms can never hope to do for their kids. I cant afford to quit my job coz we have a HUGE homeloan. How do people manage to assuage all these feelings of guilt? My husband is very upset bcos I am so upset and he doesnt know what to do to make me feel better. Everytime I look at my son, I feel my heart will break...I mean he is so little and vulnerable and I just dont know how I am going to be there for him...I am constantly worrying and its just taking a toll on me. I am not able to concentrate on my work or anything else. Please help me get out of this mood by giving me some suggestions. I desperately NEED some advice!!! meenakshi replied. I was also in the same position previously. My daughter was more attached to the servant because she was with her more time than me. i am also a working lady. So i was very disturbed. then one day due to quarrel with the servant i hv told her to go from my house, afterwards i hv arranged to sent her to the nearby creche. In the beginning it was more painful ie i hv to get up early and feed my baby, sometimes she will not eat etc. but previous tension was not there, but physically i was weak but i managed and after one year i brought one of my relatives - old lady to look after her. now i am OK.
u think abut the nearby creche, u can also arrange the auto for dropping him to the creche etc and send back the servant, then u will not be in tension, physically u hv to take burden but emotionally u will be strong and also u will feel very good to do for yr son. if possible u can do it..

best wishes

rekha replied. S u work from which company ,do you have company list thats gives you options fo working from home.. Priya replied. I too a working Mom and right now going thru a diff kind of guilt.
My Son 3 and 1/2 has started is LKG in a nearby school ... I was very happy abt it all . We chose to take up school bus for his return home. Day 1 of school bus I realised it takes close to 50 mins after school for my son to get home. I was terribly depressed. I was thinking it will take 30 mins .. So 20 to 30 mins more was not acceptable to me.
My son sleeps off in the van. Two days I have been feeling sorry and sad abt it and I have not been sleeping in the night thinking what other option do I have. Meanwhile I talked to some more moms and learned their kids also take anywhere between 45 mins to 1 and 1/2 hours.
So after knowsing that 45 to 1 hour is not too bad ..today I feel ok .
I have asked my son to take a nap in the bus itself so he feels lil refreshed.
Yes I agree even small things can sometimes upset us so much.
You keep going to work .. you will get used to it and slowly will feel less guilty !!


Queen replied. Hi S ,

What u r going through is very natural , All of us understands the imp & need of earning together. So that need not be explained .

When your son seems to be happy then u need not worry so much
There are few options i can give u :
1.You can call ur parents & in laws to come sometimes & stay with u all.
2.Opt for a more flexible job like in academics , s/w testing etc
3.Try for a company that gives working from home option.
4.Give undivided attention to your kid as long as ur at home.
Dont feel so sad . You have a supporting husband also . Everything will be fine after few months ...