Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi, Me and my boyfriend of 6 yrs are now planning to get married. now that we are discussing our married life, he is saying that one thing he will never do is live separate from his parents. i like to be independent and i like to have my own place that i can decorate and stuff myself. i am having a hard time adjusting to the concept of living with inlaws. they are nice but i want a place that i could call my own. He says that he owns 50% of a 5 bedroom house that he lives in and has committed to his dad about it. then, i compromised and said that we need to move out for first 2 yrs and then we can move back in. but he is saying that that is just not possible either because he wants to save the money instead. i just feel stuck in the situation. i wish i could convince him somehow rather than just breaking up with him over it. Please advice me on how to convince him, or how to deal with it. rupa replied. how about you tell him that you have also promised your parents that you will be taking care of them ...after all they have cared for you ....and now you are looking forward to bring them to stay with you guys...let him mull over this...if he has obligations to his parents ( this 50 % of the flat ) ...you have 100 % obligations to your parents ( 100 % of your income ) !!!
i presume you are not yet married...think of this before taking the dive....today its the house your in-laws will be sharing ...tomorrow they will be sharing your husband...then your marraige...get the picture ???


Reality replied. What's the buzz word in these statements: Change! The man, of your dreams has a whopping 50% interest in the house. Ok, money and relationships have an interesting mix. Who and what do you love more: your privacy, freedom, etc. Girl, weigh everything equally BEFORE you tie the knot. Love, from its inception is about sacrifice and compromises. My last relationship ended I believe because my EVIL assenine future MIL couldn't control me. My girlfriend never really told me why the relationship ended. What I am writing is real. Love, should have no strings attached. That's why its called unconditional!! Allright, also my whole life its been about pleasing \";other\"; people. NO more, yourself comes first. I am not being selfish. I am in my 30's and am speaking with experience. Listen to your gut feel. Talk it over with friends and ones closest to you. INlaws should seperate from the immediate relationship. My God, siblings can't get along with each. What makes you think you are going to change them? Good luck, in your decision. Remember and look at the divorce rates worldwide. I, don't mean to scare you but what can I say. Emotions, respect, etc., have to weighed accordingly. mm replied. Dear Sonia,

You really don't know what in-laws are. Now they may be nice but they may change their colours soon. Well if your would be is independent, then no problem. First try to find out if he is a mama's boy. Meenu replied. First of all you have to open mind. What makes you think that your in-laws wouldn't let you have the freedom you want. Infact they might even love the way you decorate the house and arrange things. Talk to them. Open conversation leads to a healthy atmosphere.
Your boyfriend might be very attached to his parents and might not feel comfortable leaving them immediately. A marriage brings as much tension in a guy as in a girl. Go with a open mind. Live with them happily. If there any issues which you think is bothering then you explain to your husband.

After having 6 years of understanding, if you break over a small issue like this then you have to really start thinking whether you both are really ready for the marriage or not.

Wish you all the happiness in the world ! Advanced wishes for your marriage.