Relationships  Discussion Forum

Dear sisters

I have been a silent reader of this site all this time and also been
implementing most of the valuable ideas you all suggest.But today I have been forced to
bring out my problems here.My problems as usual started after my marriage.My husband who
happens to be the eldest son of his family, has taken up all the responsibilities till
date like educating his younger brother and sister and getting her married to a well to do
family with a handsome dowry.And as usual my in-laws especially my sil hates me like
anything for no reason.I swear by God i have not interfered in any issue especially the ones
dealing with his family and money oriented stuff..We r married for around 4 years now and
were in abroad for 2 yrs initially...so i cud escape from my in-laws' vicious nature.After
coming back my problems have doubled.They consider their own son as a money minting machine..so far i never brought this issue in front of my husband..But for past 1 yr they
have started filling my husband' s ears against me...i donno what they keep telling him.
I have tried my best to please them and have never uttered a word bad for them..but still
the problem seems to be increasing.
I must also tell about my husband' s nature.He is a totally unromantic and
robot like person..Im expecting my baby anytime this week or next week.I have come to my
mom' s place for delivering but he has not come and visited me once though his place is just few hrs travel from mine...Though i dont live in a joint family ..the mental torture i have
gone thru has made me lose all my confidence.My in-laws keep making me feel like it' s my
fortune that I got to get married to their son and i never deserved him..They have started
to break my self-confidence by criticizing me constantly.
Now that Im going to deliver my baby..i dont want my baby to see me getting
treated like a door mat to all these people.My husband doesnt trust me or have nay feelings for me and my inlaws keep blaming me...I just want to ignore them all..I want to be a confident mother and a good inspiration for my baby.Iam a well educated post graduate and also had workrd in IT line as a programmer for 3 yrs..But after marriage I have a gap of about 4 yrs..I want to renew my career and be successful.BUt I have so many thoughts like can i start working with such a small baby.Will I be considered for a job..Or if I dont get considered..are there any courses available for people like me? or is there any career counselling place where I can consult and get a career for myself.I know this section is not for career counselling.But please guide me.Ur advises mean a lot to me at present.I cant go on like this anymore. The One replied. Thanks for getting back to me with your answers!

I would really love to help you out, but based on your current condition I will only suggest you to be happy and keep yourself busy with your friends and family. Forget about what has happened to you in past or what will happened to you in future. Just be happy and think about your baby! Wish you a very healthy, normal and safe delivery.

Come back after enough rest and peace of mind and we’ll discuss your topic.

well wisher replied. Dear Rashi,

Please free ur self from all these thoughts & tension.Get prepared for a good delivery .Lat ur kid grow up (better a year old).Then u can opt for a good job.U can go into S/W testing.AS it is relatively hassle free,u can dervote more time to ur baby.Once u move to blore u can find lot of good creche where u can leave ur baby .In the mean time , while doing ur duties as a good mother u can take up a courese in testing.Rest of the things , specially people who do not care for u , do never waste ue time thinking abt them .Good Luck! The One replied. First of all I would like to say sorry to hear about what you have to go through. As you mentioned you will be delivering a baby in week or two so please forget everything from your in-laws side and make your self happy. Spend as much time as you can with your mother and your friends. You need to understand in your current condition if it very important for you to stay happy and healthy for your baby.

Let me get my facts straight before I give you any suggestions or advice.
Where are you living currently?
Are you in India or out side of India?
Will you be living in India now or are you moving outside India?
Have you decided anything about leaving your husband and his family?
Are you and your husband are planning to go abroad?


Please get back to me with your answers so that I can understand your circumstances better and guide you properly.

Hope to hear from you soon! Take care of yourself.