Relationships  Discussion Forum

Friends
We had Love Marriage. My husband hv relation with other women before me. But I came in his life and we got married than after 3 yrs of marriage he had Extra marital affair with girl in my relation. THe affair dint continue for more than 5 month due to my in-laws pressure he stop and realized his mistake. I shud say here that he is very responsible father, very responsible son and he is a good human being and he fullfil his all duties for me.
Till date I was adjusting and tried to love him like b4 this EMA had happen.
The problem is last time I went to India for some reason leaving behind my 2 children with my maid and hubby.
So husband use to fetch my children to school over there he started talking with my friend' s maid. he says he was talking with her abt her salary coz she was holding expensive mobilephone than he asked how is afford that phone etc etc.
I wasnt knowing all this.
When I came frm India my friend catch me and was saying tat my husband was speaking to her maid and he was asking abt her moble number. she was quetioning y yr husband wants her number?
Than after tat I asked tat maid what my husband was asking she said that he was asking her moble number and y he want my number
When I confront to my hubby he is saying that I talked to her but i dint asked for her mobile number.

Friends I dnt know whom to belive. What to do. Is he still the same person as b4???
Very much disturb.
I shud say this also last time when He go India he done his HIV test frm local doctor, when I asked y he did he said just he did, and than he said he had an affair also so he wanted to check.It was an Unofficial test.
What u people say Whom to believe.
He says he loves me and I can feel his love for me but than y all this??? Dnt understnad
Sorry for long post. Any suggestion or advice, PLz anita replied. hi nan,

my opionion is that there is too much morality attched to sex. its a biological need ... why attach morals to it? why attach so much emotiosn to it? it is purely animal instinct. and over so many years we have made it into soemthing nore important than it really is.. i think both men and women have sexual needs that must be fulfilled. it sour society that has made it very difficult for women to be bold about their sexuality whereas for men, everyone says its their nature. men are ploygamous by instint.. they have to have sex with many partners. if you feel that he loves you, then rest assured that he does loev u and that this ex with other women has nothing to do with love or that he has stopped loving u or does not want you.. it is nothing like thta. he just has this urger to mate with other women , thats all. i agree with rkm that u must use condoms and insist on it. you can go one step furtehr and tell ur husband that he is free to do as he pleases, you will not hold any grudge with him.. but tell him that he must use condoms and be careful... you will see that over time, once he has his fill, he will be satisfied and will no longer always think abt sex with other women. on teh other hand, teh more u try to cotrol, the more chaalloo he will get and he will try more and more ways to hide all this from u... and only this will be on his mind,, he will not be able to develop a close realtionship with u.. i really hope that e is a loving husband to u... RKM replied. Dear Nan,

Your husband seems to have a compulsive desire of seeking new new sex partnars. You also say

\" he is very responsible father, very responsible son and he is a good human being and he fullfil his all duties for me\"

I have a bit of confusion as to the definitions of the words you have used like \" responsible\" \" good human being\" etc. but lets leave that aside right now.

The first suggestion I have to you is to ask him to compulsorrily use a condom every time you allow him to have sex with you. This is because he appears to have multiple sex parnars at any point of time and what you describe also leads to the fact that the partnars keep changing. So you MUST save yourself from any STD in particular HIV/AIDS.

Your children seem to have grown enough to be left with a maid during yourtrip to India, so I conclude you and your husband are in the 35+ age group, kindly indicate this, if you like to.

Quite likely his sex adventures will continue and its even possible that you have know only part of his past adventures.

The next important question is are you working? Please post again, let some thoughts on suggestions come up by then.