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Womens Issues:vacations NRIs..
2007-05-06
Name: sushma



hi friends, this is esp for NRIs.. when we go to India on vacations, how long do you stay in ur inlaws and parents house? how do we divide the time.. say one month period? my parents and inlaws stay in the same city, and i find it quite delicate to ' ask' for permission to stay at parents' place. We are meeting them after such a long time. Of course, I would like my husband to spend as much time with his family.. but expect atleast half of it for myself, with my parents. any suggestions? how do you all plan it? please answer ..
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2007-05-18
#1
Anonymous Name: as
Subject:  just



Hey we live in India but in a different state.My inlaws & parents stay in the same place.So i go 1 week or so ahead of my husband.Go straight to my inlaws.Stay there till evening and run to my parents in the evening & when my hubby comes i ' ll join him and go to my in laws' place.And both of us leave to our home
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2007-05-08
#2
Anonymous Name: Friend
Subject:  here is my suggestion



As a women we always woul dlike to spend more time at our parents place. When we went first time I was afraid to ask my husband that I will go to my parents house. My parenst nd inlaws liv ein same town nd I went to my parents place after one week. It was so hard..for me nd my parents too. We both work so we went for only 20 days. But I spent like 3 days at my parents place. Next time I went for my sisters marriage I spent all most 15 days at my parents nd spent 4 days at my inlaws. So, discuss wiht ur husband, nd if you stay more days at ur inlaws place they expect same everytime you visit. So, tell ur husban dhow u miss ur parents. Also, where ever u stay try ot stay with ur hubby otherwise it will be a good chance for inlaws, SIL' s to complain about u. same thing happend wiht me when I went to India for my sister marriage. So htink about all these nd take a decision.

finally, ask ur husbnad when u r abroad don' t ask in front of ur inlaws they will say this that nd try to make u stay at ur there place.
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2007-05-18
#3
Anonymous Name: The One
Subject:  Re: To Wife



Are you for real? “Go ask your wife my " One" / We females have different perspectives and are more tied with family bonds.” Where are you getting this? Women got more bonds with their family, and men just don’t care about their family. Laughing my butt off.

“I didnt want to generalize - but since you did, that’s why I am generalizing it too. Usually- girls are the one who " Miss" their parents and crave to be with them not other way around.” Everyone miss their family and friends it is not true that women crave to be with their family. Read this board and you will see women got more issue then man with family. And when did I generalized anything I clearly said most of the Indian women not all Indian women.

“Doubtfulness even man misses his family” so according to you man have no feelings about their family and that is why all men go out work hard to earn more money, take life insurance for their family and take loan to provide better living for his family. Wow you are really a smart person. What are you a scientist? Can you please share your research of how you came to this conclusion on man never misses his family?

I guess you need to read and understand what the question is and what my answer is. It clearly says that we NRI when you go to India do you live with your in-laws or parents. My answer was you go to India for either occasion or vacation. In either condition you go to have fun with your family and friends. Where to live is not the important question but what to do is important question.

Read what “Friend” has said, “tell ur husban dhow u miss ur parents. Also, where ever u stay try ot stay with ur hubby otherwise it will be a good chance for inlaws, SIL´ s to complain about u. same thing happend wiht me when I went to India for my sister marriage. So htink about all these nd take a decision.”

My reply about no respect for in-laws was to friends and it wasn’t generalized. If I wanted to generalize anything I could have posted my input directly to Sushma. The person who is using name “Friend” got issues for thinking that mother-in-law and sister-in-law will talk bad about her to her husband. If she have issues with her in-laws doesn’t mean everyone’s in-laws are bad.

There is not frustration DEAR! It’s just my input. Why would I be frustrated (lol) it’s not my problem. I am giving them straight point of visit, doesn’t matter where you live, just have fun.

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2007-05-12
#4
Anonymous Name: Wife
Subject:  To " The One"



Go ask your wife my " One" / We females have different perspectives and are more tied with family bonds. I didnt want to generalize - but since you did, thats why i am generalizing it too. Usually- girls are the one who " Miss" their parents and crave to be with them not other way around. Doubtfulness even man misses his family but then why a bias and such a control on your wife??? We are living in the age where there is no difference between guys and girls then why such a perspective?

And what makes you think that with this approach- one would dis-respect inlaws? If a wife wants to spends some " quality" time with her own family, then why not? I assume that you and your wife´ s family is in the same town. Have you ever considered if the families in different towns?

Ponder before vending out your frustration dear...
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2007-05-11
#5
Anonymous Name: The One
Subject:  The most ridicules question ever.



That is just ridicules, stay with your husband or else your mother-in-law and sister-in-law will complain about you. Let me get this straight, you are living in US and your in-laws are living in India. Then how the hell your sister-in-law will complain about you and for what?

You have no respect for your in-laws and 0% trust on your husband. I am a male and when I go to India with my wife we stay at my parents place. Neither had she asked me nor is she scared of me, to go live with her family. We all meet at my place or at her place for dinner. I think this question never came across us. We always plan out from here what to do in India. Most of the time we spend with our friends and evenings with family get to gather.

You guys are full of it, when any couple goes to India it is either wedding occasion or just a formal trip. Mostly people go out and meet up with friends during day, evening you always have family dinner then why are you stressing so much about living with in-laws and living with parents? To hell with it, live anywhere your purpose of visit to meet all your folks, have fun and come back.

I guess most of the women are still living with typical Indian mentality, god help them.

Good luck with your trip.
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2007-05-08
#6
Anonymous Name: Adi
Subject:  Nice Question



Very nice question. We too will be planning our India vacation soon, and i am sure this would be foremost topic that would come. I don' t have the courage yet to talk it out with my hubby but eventually i would have to when the plans are concrete. Thanks Sushma for asking such a nice question.

Also- can you share some details as to where did you get your bookings from? Do you know of any good travel agents here in US? Thanks in advance!!
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2007-05-07
#7
Anonymous Name: help
Subject:  50-50



hi,
if going for say 1mnth i stay at my inlaws place for abt the tie my husband is with me...like if he is only coming for 15days and i m going to stay more then i stay at inlaws place up to arnd 10days then ask my hubby to visit my parents also (mainly they call him ) so arnd 4-5 days at my parents place with him and when he goes back then my father call me or send my brother to pick me from there.
bye
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2007-05-06
#8
Anonymous Name: Ritika
Subject:  Re:



I spend a week with my laws and the rest with my parents (which happens to be abt 10 days or so).

Just inform your husband before hand only that you' ll spend a few days with his family and after that go to your own parents place.

At your in laws place both of you shd present a joint front so that in laws cant create drama. Or even if they do, it doesnt change your plans.

If you try to accommodate them too much, they' ll always expect you to behave like that - i.e. put yr own parents on a back burner.

Don' t do the mistake of \" Asking\" for permission! Please! You' re an adult..why do you need permission to visit yr own parents for heaven' s sake...

anyways..take care and enjoy yr vacation..
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2007-05-11
#9
Anonymous Name: The One
Subject:  Re:



You obviously showing that you hate your in-laws, don’t give me BS of saying oh I am just saying my relationship with my in-laws is good etc.
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