Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi friends,
I need your support and suggestion.I am new member to this board.All these days I kept brooding about all unfortunate incidences that took place in my live.but after reading this forumI realised that there are so many women who are on the same track.I was married 4 yrs back.I have a storng feeling that all my problems started with that.Immediately after my marriage while going to a piligramage we met with an accident in which myself,my husband,my MIL and my Sil survived.I lost my sister.My husband lost his father,grandpa,nephew.We all were severly injure.Somehow we are out of it now.But this incident has pictured me as an ironleg in my inlaws mind.It is very painful when I came to know even my husband has the same feeling.Whatever happens (bad things) in my house he blames me it is because of my presence it seems.I have a baby girl of 11 months.I had normal delivery.But unfortunately baby' s birth time was not so auspicious for which we had to perform poojas.For that also they blamed me.But I din' t care for their words since delivery was not in my hands and no one can stop that.But see my misfortune immediately I conceived after that but had a miscarriage in my 27th week.That was a baby boy.Doctor suggested me bed rest for this pregnancy but my husband wanted me to stay in his mother' s house.I din' t go.He was angry with me for that and stopped talking with me.Emotionally I was very disturbed for the result was by baby loss.Why is this happening one after the other to me?Nowadays I am getting doubt taht is something really bad with my fortune.after my marriage my parents are also not happy.My husband doesn' t like my parents and he never come to their place.Till now they never speak a word about it.Even after my 4yrs of mariage life he never cared about my needs.Even now my parents are looking after whatever I need.I am feeling very guilty for that.Bering a Btech graduate still I am depending on my parents.Now they are fine and they are looking afetr me.But what will I do when they become old.They need my support.i have a sister yet to be married.I am praying to God atleast give her a nice patner and a nice son in law to my parents.From the very beginning of my graduation I had a strong feeling that financially i must be independent and be supportive to my parents since we all r daughters to them.Immediately afetr my graduation I got married.I couldn' t say no to my parents since we allr daughters and I am the eldest one.But when I wanted to work my husband says he doesn' t want me to go out and work.Neither he takes care of my needs nor he is allowing me to do job.he says he always wanted a good housewife who will look after his children and parents.I love me and burried my desire deep inside my heart.But afetr experiencing all these I am worried very much.If something happens suddenly,If myparents need my support how will I.this is sure I won' t get any help from him.Even I don' t want to take any help from him because after knowing that he hates my parents so much and caused so much of pain to them how can i go for his help.Instead I will try to give my lifde for them but never go for help to him especially for my parents.It is not taht he doesn' t love.He is nice with me.But the problem comes when my parents come into picture.Till now I never understand what wrong they have done to him.So nowadays I am thinking to do a job like work from home.But no idea about such jobs.Can any one help me in this matter. dia replied. Hi sireesha,

Ur problem has many aspects.
See ,First one is depending on ur parents for ur needs? Y?? U also mentioned he love u, Then I didnt get ur point him not even filling ur needs and u r depending on parents even after 4yrs after marriage?

dont think about u helping ur parents when they r in need which might or might not happen. Its all related to future. Just sort out the main problem presently u have ! Just Dont depend on ur parents at any time. And he has to take care of u.

OK, If he is thinking root cause of problem is because of ur IRON LEG, Then U too lost ur sister because of his IRON LEG. Not only him, u too lost a siser right? Y u only shd feel guilty u r of misfortune??

No dear, u r lucky and got a baby regardless what MUHURTHA she has born! U both r responsible for her birth and not only u gave birth to her...Whatever she born is auspicious day.... MY cousin brother born on a day which is not auspicious acc to our tradition but he is the greatest human being in our circle in any angle like money, human values ,luck ,social status, parents love, has 2 sharp kids, he is considered as a lucky man in our whole circle .But REMEMBER HE BORN ON BAD DAY,ELDERS USED TO SAY WHEN HE WAS LITTLE.

So dont afraid how ur daughters life wpuld be? IF u become clever and turn ur hubby understand ur needs and baby' s and fulfil both of ur needs, then ur baby will be grown in good atmosphere and she will be the luckiest.

Bring her up with great values and with higher education. Dont plan for other kid sooner.

Ok, regarding misfortune u cant say its all urs...And I strongly believe, MIL is always ready to blame anything on DIL and any great thing meant themselves luckier. ITS HER MISFORTUNE SHE LOST HER HUBBY(UR FIL, sorry , but am saying this, just because she said u iron-leg)

And its her daughter' s misfortune she lost son(ur hubby loosing nephew) So if u r misfortune anywhere means getting in to marriage with a hubby who cant even see ur needs.Convey it strongly to him.


Regarding u r having miscarriage, Just it was an accident and dont always curse urself for ur badluck...


Know what, If u see positives only u can lead ur life best way.So dont get influenced by others comments.

Just live for urself and for ur daughter.Be cheerful always and have fun with ur daughter.And treat her lucky girl soon u' ll find she is really lucky .Be cheerful PLZ!!!

Love,
Dia.