Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi all

i am married 31yrs old women/mom with 2 kids ( 4yrs and 2yrs ).

i am staying abroad and away from inlaws,parents etc. i am working here since i got married ( since last 7 years)and managing office and home.
i leave kids with the house maid and she takes care of them in my absense.

now the problem is everyone in our friends circle, collegues, neighbours appreciate me for handling both the work and home in proper way, my collegues even appriciate me for my hardwork/dedication for work in my office. but my husband never appriciates me and above that he expects more from me.

my day starts from morning 5:15am i will get up, prepare breakfast, get ready for office and wakeup my kid ( only one kid is going to school ) , feed him breakfast, makes him ready for school ( in dressing him up my husband will help me ), takes him to his school bus and then i will go to my office. and in the office also i am in responsible position. in the evening i will come home ( at 6:00pm), take kids for a short walk, finish cooking, then my husband will come home, i will feed one kid and maid/sometimes my husband or me feeds the other one ( both are very fussy eaters ). then we will finish our dinner and after wathcing tv for some time we all will go to bed.

i expect that my husband should say or talk to me with love but he will also sleep with the kids saying that he is very tired , some times i will start crying thinking about this then he will getup and starts saying that i am going mad and there is nothing great that i am doing. ( he doesn' t understand how difficult it is for a women to leave the kids with maids and work at office). he will never think that i am working for the betterment of our family.

backhome, as a elder son he got so many responsibilies, thats the reason i have to work. but he will never accept that. after our marriage only we bought some properties .when my kids are born even i cried that i will leave my job, at that time he convinced me saying that we have to think of future of kids and earn for them.

now i don' t have any problem to works because my kids got adjusted well with maid and even started nurseries, but i expect some loving words/ appreciation from my husband. he says that i doesn' t know the meaning of love it should be in the hearts.

i dont know what i am expecting from him is wrong. are there any other ladies who is facing same situation.

please advice me

dia replied. hi dear,
Pl remember one quote and be satisfied urself.
WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS ADN MEN FROM MARS.

U can apply this quote more to our cases and mentality mismatch in husabnds and wives.
Women see and perceive anything with thier heart and men with their mindset.
So u can' t expect a man to be poetic or loving or expressive. May be their ego domintate their love towardds us, but I have seen very a few males being expressive . Our mothers didnt expect this nature in hubbies and always they have been understanding so we hear less complaints from that generarion .but now a days girls r expecting their hubbies to be just like them.


One more thing is that in our old generation mothers are always dedicated to children and future and mostly they had to think about finances and savings. So thye never had a chance to realise thye r missing something. But they equally were responsible for kids and we could see our parents being understanding to eachother.
But we r well off and nothing bother us much. And confident that we can adjust finances to our kids according to their future demands.
So we r getting time to think about this concern and love that women miss in one marriage.
Its real . But men equally wants this pampering from his wife. Once u stop caring ,u can see the difference. But as we never give them scope to think how much we care them, theydont have to look like craving for our love.

This is nature of any man. Take it easy and stop expecting from him. Just think that u r doing it because its ur duty. So u' ll be revealed.

Dont seem to be craving for his love. he just will be behind u atleast to know y u r not caring him.

Ok dear, Dont think its just ur problem. Its problem of our kind. We expect very little words but we dont get them. This is not our bad luck. Its their badluck and they dont realise a little appreciation can do magic on his wife and she deadly love him further.

So keep smiling and have nice days ahead.
mini replied. hi..i think what u r expecting from ur husband is not too much..but let me tell u...some men are too introvert or u can say egoistic to express their love for the partner..some men can never think from a woman' s point of view and lucky are those gals who get men who understand them..u r lucky among all that atleast he doesnt say harsh words to u..pls donn misunderstand me..even i face this situation especially since my kid was born...he is always concerned abt the kid and not me..i donn mind this ' cos now its our kid for whom we are living....sometimes we expect too much frm the partner which on even complaining they dont understand and blame us for being too kiddish by expecting..they take us the women for granted..
donn worry ur efforts won' t go waste..ur kids will grow up to see the hard work u r putting in for them and definitely they will respect u more and really Salute to u who is being such a great mother..