Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi friends. Whenver we have a fight whether it is a small disagreement or a bigger fight , my husband stops totally talking with me for days together, believe me i am totally shatterd becoz of this. I start getting skin eruptions, mouth ulcers and generally do not keep well. I am however trying hard not to let in affect me becoz, i say to myself, comeon i have a life of my own - i do many activities to keep my mind busy and not think about him not talking to me much. But somewhere i feel there is a gap between us which is growing day by day and i feel highly uncomfy to say the least. and 99 of the time i keep talking to him and he does not even look at me, forget answering or even saying a ' hmm' . he get upset over trivial matters and stops talking for days together. sometimes i feel what kind of a marriage is this ? i feel v. lonely. i spend a lot of time with my sweet kids but then thats it - i long for attention and friendship from my husband which i dont think i will get in this lifetime at all. please tell me is it common to stop talking like this for days together. i feel it is v. unhealthy and does more harm than good. thax in advance dia replied. Tony, I understand ur feelings.It' s after all life and getting angry at hubby is common with any wife.
For that, punishing wife for few days is really annoying and not fair at all.
I know ur hubby' s mentality through that another post in which u said u felt happy in his absence.

Just try mailing him how u r hurt with his behaviour and request in front lines not to get angry with the subject in mail. In that mail , Do write u love him alot. but his behaviour really making u to suspect his love towards u.

Tony, Hope it might work out for u. Because When i get some feelings which I fear to express in his presence, I jsut mail him .
But never ever discuss complicated things ,this mail shd be in gentle way .Generally elders say no letter shd be written to partner .They say it with the fear ' donno how days ahead chnge his mood and he might use it as a weapon' . But i dont believe in it. I think ' letting them know how we feel' solves many problems.
Be patient Tony,Though now u r facing little hardship, In ur ages he' ll be ur best companion and he depend on u like anything. I saw many men like this turning out to be hen-pecked husbands after 45yrs. Believe me.
I really pray god for ur happiness.
s replied. similar with me i feel same u feel but problem with me when ever my husband do this icry icry alot when i m alone and automatically start thinking abt me ex and really scold my bad destiny to not get married to him i know its wrong but still cant help i have kid 3yrs married also 5 yrs but still somewhere in the corner of my heart all of his memories still alive
i dont want to think abt him ...when ever i m depressed or feel lonely my mind goes tohim unknowingly .... some feelings never change..
wellwisher replied. Hi,

Dont be so upset or serious with ur husbands behaviour, whenhe stops talking to u . many people has that habit of showing their anger .Like i myself dont talk to my husband if anything happens (most of the time my husband will speak something offending to me ), & i will get hungry , take it to hurt. Then wont even look at hime for few days . But it is he who always try to patch up . He will continue to speak to me as if nothing has happened.Then after few days i also give up & start talking to him. I think u can also do that ,i mean continue to talk to him normally , show him care etc.
You have not mentioned what kind of disagreements you both will be having or is it normal for ur husband to behave like that with u even if u are not having fight.
If it is any of the cases like :
1.Ur husband insulted/abused you or was the root of the fight , still he is not feeling guilty , still showing his anger by stopping to talk to u.
2.Is always cold to u , only does purposeful talking ,but never behaves the same with others eg.kids, his own family

Then you have to think seriouly about ur relationship .
But if none of the above facts exists , the u can be cool & take this situtation normally as a part of ur life. wellwisher replied. Hi,

Dont be so upset or serious with ur husbands behaviour, whenhe stops talking to u . many people has that habit of showing their anger .Like i myself dont talk to my husband if anything happens (most of the time my husband will speak something offending to me ), & i will get hungry , take it to hurt. Then wont even look at hime for few days . But it is he who always try to patch up . He will continue to speak to me as if nothing has happened.Then after few days i also give up & start talking to him. I think u can also do that ,i mean continue to talk to him normally , show him care etc.
You have not mentioned what kind of disagreements you both will be having or is it normal for ur husband to behave like that with u even if u are not having fight.
If it is any of the cases like :
1.Ur husband insulted/abused you or was the root of the fight , still he is not feeling guilty , still showing his anger by stopping to talk to u.
2.Is always cold to u , only does purposeful talking ,but never behaves the same with others eg.kids, his own family

Then you have to think seriouly about ur relationship .
But if none of the above facts exists , the u can be cool & take this situtation normally as a part of ur life.