Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi All,
I have a queer problem...my mom & dad had separated long back & we 3 lived together i.e my mom, bro & me.Then 3 yrs back i got married & 1 year after that my bro got married. He is very caring & loving but now my mom is getting over posessive for him. She keeps on crying & fighting saying that he doesnt give her attention & has turned selfish & all...though I know its not true...there could hardly be any son who is so caring. Also she doesnt realize that since he is married now, he has a personal life...he needs to spend quality time with his wife alone. He has a very busy working schedule so he has to set a balance between family life & personal life hence cannot spend as much time with her as before, but she doesnt realize & keeps on fighting & crying & also keeps on cribbing at my bhabhi. It really hurts to see mom like this coz she has gone through many hardships to bring us up after papa left...but how to make her understand? We have had direct talks & also tried to explain but she is not ready to accept that she is being unreasonable.

Pls help friend replied. hi,
after reading ur post the very thought came in my mind was the one which dia suggest so try that i think it will work.
bye dia replied. Its good to see u caring for mom and brother too. Its rare that u r thinking positively with ur brothers side which many cant see.
Ok Friend,Now Ur mom badly need Love. As she missed good times with ur papa, she doesnt want to miss the love frm her kids too. so she is unable to digest the truth that her pyara son has to give priority to his wife too.So just creating scene out of that insecurity feeling.

U can try this strategy...
U r married and think u have nice mil. Now start crying in ur mom' s presence that mil has changed and always crying that her son is away and this is bothering u.u r verymuch depressed that ur hubby is worrying for his mother crying over giving u priority...U can lament over how wrong ur mil is to be thinking like this.She might realise that she is behaving same with her dil and son and might change her attitude towards them.She can see the problem only if her daughter is the victim. She cant think positively in DIL' s angle.

If u can tell this successfully and if U can tell her that ur hubby love his mom but she is unable to understand.
Conclude telling her, \" mom, u too dont behave like this, U might loose his respect and love which he has really for u sooner. Pl dont continue this behaviour. To secure their love toward s u, u have to be sweet with them.\"


If problem persists and she become more posessive, u can consult a counsellor(dont take me wrong, Its helpful ) and they can manage with her fears well.
All the best.Tackle it carefully without hurting her any moment.