Name: Ritika
I read your post and was very disturbed by it..you seem to have lost all hope of leading a normal life..
Do not think of taking your life. Why give it up for a low life like the man you are married to? Instead plan and think on how you can safely separate from him...and build a new life..
You mentioned that your parents are also not supporting you in leaving your abusive husband...
Are you working? Can you suport yourself financially?
The reason I' m asking if because even if your parents dont support you, that should not stop you from leaving such an abusive husband...after all God has made you himself and he has given you the inner strength to live by yourself...
Yes, Divorce is a major thing in India, but believe me its becoming more common day by day and people are slowly becoming more accepting...I' m sure that people will be sympathetic towards you on hearing your story so do not be afraid to take this option just because \" log kya kahenge\" ..after all these same \" log\" are not coming to help you in your time of need..why worry too much about what they are saying?
Yes, you might be alone for a while...but you will also discover a hidden strength within you that you thought had sapped away...I' m saying this because it takes an immense amount of strength to withstand physical abuse...
I' m assuming that you are staying in a big city in India...go and check the sunday paper for rentals..find a place to stay that is within your means..if its too expensive you can try looking for a paying guest accommodation...
That way you dont have to depend on your family members for support...
First try to keep some money with you as a nest egg...a separate bank account for example..hide it from your husband somehow...
When your husband is not there, go and keep your stuff in your new place..Do NOT give your husband your new address... move at the first opportunity...
Take the help of a friend, if you have one...contact a childhood friend, if you do not have a current friend...but DO IT...
I know that it can be very difficult to live alone in this world...but I also believe that if you believe in God and take strength from him, you will be able to escape from this ugly marriage and abusive marriage...
Try to find a good divorce lawyer and go ahead and file the claim...
If your parents and family are not willing to protect you, then YOU NEED TO PROTECT YOURSELF!!
Which city are you staying in India..? If you do not have friends there, try posting the city name here..maybe somebody from this message board can help you in planning your escape..
Please dont give up hope...we are here to help you..and will try our level best...
Take care and do post back...