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my baby girl iz 1 yr old..her weight,height eating scheduleeverything seems perfect n her ped iz happy....the only n worst n weird problem iz sleeping..
at night she sleeps frm 12.00 till 7 am without wakig inbetween..but the prob iz she either needs me or her father near her while sleeping..she touches us n confirm that we r near her every 10 min.after she sleeps if we put her in cot she wakeup in 5 minutes..in these 1 yr she never slept alone even for 5 min.i am terribly upset..so the problems i am facing bcuz of thiz are

1) me n my hubby hardly have any intercourse once in 2 months or so..bcuz she will always b near us n wunt sleep alone
2)i can do any work while she sleeps but she wunt sleep during day without me so i cant do any work n my hubby iz relaly bored of restaurant food
3)i like to continue my studies but bcuz of her behavoir i am pretty sure that baby sitter will slap her or ask me to take her away
4)i cant even go to toilet or restroom even for 5 min..she starts screaming..my freinds said dunt pick her up ..let her get habitated by that..i tried but she will end up in breathless crying n voilet body n litres of tears for almost 30 min
anyone i similar situation??wat will u people do???i think me n my husband will breakup sooner if thiz continues..we were very loavble couploe b4..but now we hardly speak...if u have had ababy like thiz plz do share me when they will change their behavoir??plz plzz plzzzzzzzzzzz X2 replied. If you are in the US, try daycare for a while..say a week....and see how it goes...

seeing so many kids around her might change her...

my baby was also like this - always clinging to me...then I took her to daycare (when she was 4 months old)...the first couple of days she cried a lot...in fact I stayed for an hour in the morning with her and dropped in a couple of times during the day..just to reassure her...but after a few days, she started adjusting and started playing with toys...and didnt even notice when I was gone...:)

It will be very hard for you and her the first few days, but if you find a good day care..then it will be worth it...

And at home, get your husband involved with taking care of the baby...dont do everything by yourself...that way the baby does not see you as the sole care giver and is ok with others taking care of her...

All the best!!! hi replied. hello friend

i also think she will change herself by the age of 2 or so. i have two kids. 6 and 3 . my elder one as a baby was very restless. he wanted me to hold me always. it was very difcult for me, it seemed impossible for me to look after my child. but after 2 years exactly 2 years, he slowly changed. when he became 3 he started doing everything by himself. now i cannot believe he gave me that much sleepless nights and restless days. but for the first 2 years i was so tired and i wondered how people manage small kids.
but my second baby , she was very much managable kid. and now i understood all babies are different. my little girl, she didn' t give me any sleepless nights. so i think u guys should think a way to make her and urself comfortable tll she becomes atleast 2. after that she will change thnk. show her a lot of affection, that she will understand it. never show any frustration , because i know, when we are tired and deprived of everything, we wll get easily upset. because have gone through that. so take it easy. cook a lot of food whenever you get time and keep it in the fridge. and fnd sometime, to be intimate with your hubby. you have to find sometime comfortable for both of you. plan ahead. gave her food that she will be full and make her go to sleep . then spend time wth your hubby. when she awakes, patt her give her a hug and lt her go to sleep, wthout taking her from bed. if she wants to slep with you guys let her sleep. anyway i' ll say you have to think and find time and ways comfortablefor three of you. play with her and slowly tell, her, you have to be like this. play , encourage her and make her independent slowly. she will be. don' t worry. everythibg thing is in your hands. u can contol it. am sure . ok dear plzz replied. no i am not in india so itz impossible here to have a maid ..n moreover she iz very active n plays well with evevryone but in my presence..as i said she will always keep an eye on me..n the worst of all iz she will sleep only wid me..she iz like thiz since frm her birth...i have seen newborns sleeping continusly..but she was like she wil sleep well only if i sleepw id her...even when she was juz weeks old she will play without sleeping for more than 5 hrs..i asked her ped he tried several ways to change her..but in vain..my ped finally said she will change only when she iz 2 or mmore(when she starts communicating)..but i am eager to hear frm mom who had a similar kid n how u changed themm..thanx for mommy n another mom..lemme try to apply those tips..lemme see whether it works.. Another Mom replied. When are trying to find out the cause for her behaviour ..why not try this .
Cant you get some maid girl (14/15 yr old girl) or some lady for couple of hours in a day exclusively for playing with her.
If you are in India this is not very difficult.
That way she will learn to mingle and play with one more person apart from you. First few days all 3 can play together than you can ask the maid to play with her and slowly she can start taking her out to the park for an hour or so ...That way you too can relax for sometime and she too will learn to become more independent.
Try this if its feasible...

Bcoz in my case i am working mom and end of the day i have no energy left to take him to park or socialise with other ladies so I have a girl who is more like my sons playmate and takes him to park everyday ...so that way his socialising and playing needs are met without me bothering abt it ...
And in her company he has learnt to become more assertive and get things done his way !!!

mommy replied. HI
dear friend ,i do underastnd hw tied-up u must be feeling .but instead of just getting irritated and worried u hv to find out the reason behind this behaviour of ur kid.

the fact tht she wants to be close with u 24/7 means tht she is facing some insecurity problem.most babies face this at one point of time.but in ur case there need to be a serious investigation.

ask yourself
1)when she was younger was she frightened (even once can be enough) like for fun somebody wore a massk to scare her.
2)had she been with somewhen else like ur parents or in-laws and found both her parents missing.even for a short time.
3)was she born like this or this started a few mnths later.
4)is she scared of something in the house itself some toy or it can be anything a picture frame ,a swing.find out.

Solutions :
1)once u find out wht is creating tht insecurity try to take it away ..for ex.if its a toy keep it out of her sight.
2)take her out often and let her get to knw other kids. even if she doesnt get out of ur lap fine let her watch the outside world .this will make her less fearful.
3)even for fun tell ur hubby not to scare her. if she isnt comfortable with peek-a-boo game stop it .
4)for a few days whenever she demands ur company leave all ur work aside and attend her instantly.this will assure her tht u r there for her always.if u attend her late it will make her more insecured.
5)find out wht attracts her -t.v .,music,any particular toy and try to distract her .this is the best way.try to find out wht she enjoys the most.unfortunately if its only ur company then gradually try to instill some fun in her life like playing with her ,mimick or make some faces tht make her laugh.bring some intersting toy or dvd.since she is a yr old nw this is the time to learn rhymes and stories.
A happy child will feel more secured.

remember all these will take many days or even a couple of months.
wait for 2 mnths if nothing works u hv to consult ur paediatrician and as a team u hv to solve this problem.
I do understand tht... not being able to hv intimacy is drifting u both apart .makeup for this in small li' ll ways for the time being.try to be romatic while watchiing tv.sit close to each other.hugs and kisses will also make u both feel close .
think this way .let me sacrifice this for a while till i make my dghtr a secured child.discuss this with ur husband .its important tht ur husband too shd be seriously involved in solving this prob.
In the mean time give ur child lots of love ,hugs and cuddles never shw ur irritation on her. tht poor soul has absolutely no idea tht u r missing intimacy.
good luck
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